I can't stop,
I just keep eating and eating.
My stomach's in pain,
But my head is too.
My emotions beg me to feed my self.
I don't want to listen.
I ignore them.
They only grow stronger and stronger.
But when I do have control,
Nothing feels better.
I count every bite, and every bead of sweat.
I have purpose then.
I starve myself and I love it.
I plan out my meals,
And add each calorie,
I have self control.
This works maybe two weeks now.
But then the urge to binge,
Gets so strong,
That I give in.
I'm a weak, pathetic, disgusting excuse for a human.
I binge for a month,
I gain 20 or more pounds.
Each pound make my heart hurt a little more.
I wish this I was out of this vicious cycle,
It seems so endless.
I think I finally need to tell someone.
I think I need help.
-Ath
