BLACK BONNIE

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'Why do you still express milk,if it hurts that much?'

Omuhle sighed,she was tired of having this conversation every morning and afternoon.

'It doesn't hurt,that much..'

'Then why are you crying?'

Omuhle counted to five before replying to his question. His tone was what made her angry. She could not understand how they were both going through the same thing but he could not be more clueless.

'It has been eight weeks and there is no lead on our son. So excuse me if my constant crying is getting on your nerves.'

'I did not mean it like that. Gosh you know you act like you are the only one who fucken lost a baby. You out here acting like I am not hurting too,I am fucking hurting...'

'How am I supposed to know that when you act like it doesn't affect you. You are going on with your life like we haven't lost a child.'

'Omuhle how am I supposed to act like?! When I am out here trying to be strong for you and be your support. You are always crying and I want to cry too but if we both sat around this house crying, nothing would get done. Who would help find our son huh? Who would be out there trying to fix this shit and keeping our family out of the media. TO TOP THAT OFF I JUST FIND OUT THAT I COULD HAVE HAD ANOTHER BABY BUT,but that was taken away from me too. So forgive me Omuhle if I act like I don't *sniff* care *sniff* I do care and I want to spend my days crying every day but I have to be strong for all of you....I am sorry'

Omuhle walked up to him as he sat on a beanie bag on the floor,sobbing with his head bowed. She pulled him onto herself and caressed his head and he lay his head on her lower tummy and cried onto it. He was much taller than she was but him being on the bag made it harder to notice.

'I can't help but wonder how much you are keeping from me'

He felt her take in a deep breath then let it out a second later.

'I am sorry too.... this is hard on all of us...I should,I should have told you but I was afraid,afraid of how you would react....'

Omuhle sat down on an opposite beanie bag after removing herself from their embrace.

'Omari remember that sometimes our fights would be about the strenuous work I did around the community centers,which you suggested....I should limit since we were trying for a baby.... the doctor told me that the work I was doing coupled with emotional stress caused my,my,my miscarriage. I know I should have told you,I just felt guilty and I am really sorry.'

Omuhle tried to grab his hand but he quickly shifted out of her grasp. She jumped when he slammed the nursery door. This is why I never told you she thought.