Part 4

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by samcroslut

by samcroslut

Ever since the night with Filip, his words have haunted her thought.

'Just give him a chance!'

And that's what led her to be standing outside the clubhouse, no plan clear in her mind. She stood staring at the Sons of Anarchy logo, completely oblivious to her surroundings, so it was a surprise when Jax appeared at her side facing forward.

"He's in there, darlin'." He turned to look at her, his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner. He nodded to her, trying to coax her into entering the MC.

Fixing her leather jacket, she stood tall demanding her body to be strong. She wasn't going to walk in there small and frail. No! She would stand tall and fix her shit, get on with what she needed to do.

The clubhouse was no different, sticky floors and beer bottles coating every surface like the plague, brothers in any and every corner of the room with croweaters finding refuge in their laps. Taking her seat at the bar she called out for a whiskey to Chucky. He set to work and place the drink in front of her.

"Good to have you back, Miss Em."

It was obvious that her presence was noticed, she saw the heads turn but she gave it no mind, just continuing to drink and keeping to herself. Waiting for him to approach her, if he even did he may not even want to see her and Filip was lying but either way she wanted to see him.

She was right. Not even minutes later she heard the chair next to her move and there he was, staring straight ahead. Not a word was uttered, silence falling just like that night but this time it was less comfortable. The unaddressed matter dangling between the two like a piece of meat, the question was who would go for the bait.

Happy. Happy was the one that broke first.

"You left."

Nothing, that was it. It surprised Em, she was expecting him to be more rough, have a go at her and then leave her to the dogs. But this? This made her feel even worse. He was quiet and didn't raise his voice, emotion laced in his words which showed her he cared even though she knew he would never admit it.

"I have my reasons Hap. How am I meant to know that you won't hurt me? I've heard shit about you, you don't do relationships. That's fine, okay? I'm fine with that but.." she shook her head, hating the sound of her own voice.

"But what, little girl?"

She didn't want to say it. She didn't want to show herself in this light but she made a promise to herself to sort shit out. She looked at him.

"But that night felt right to me that's why I left." As the words left her mouth she felt the atmosphere fill with tension. He said nothing. She knew that she shouldn't of said anything, should of kept her mouth shut and move on to the next state.

She scoffed, rejection taking control of her actions. She downed the rest of the beverage and slammed the glass on the bar, her legs moving against her will. Her heart screaming out for her to stay and try to make things work but she knew how men like him worked: fucked and moved on. He made no attempt to stop her, making his feelings clear.

She reached a motel and paid for a single night, crash out and then she'll leave the next morning.

Standing in front of the door length mirror in just her underwear she realised why he probably said nothing else. Scars littered her body, tears ran down her cheeks. A long, black scar that travelled down from in between her breasts to her hip bone cursed her, holding such horrid memories. She broke, collapsing to the floor. Hands hitting at her head, trying to get the notions out of her mind. She hated it, she liked freedom and that is exactly what she didn't have. Unbeknownst to him, he trapped her. There was something about him that jinxed her, making her fall for him and then telling her the feeling wasn't recipotated. She felt hopeless, she hadn't felt like this in years. This exact feeling is what she was running from. What she noticed was that she ran right into it this time. She should of stayed away.

A harsh knock at the door pulled her from her mind. Head whipping to where the noise came from, her brain reeling for an idea for who it was. She rapidly pulled on her sweatpants and an old large rock t-shirt before looking through the peephole.