Cheated

Chapter Seventeen

SOPHIE DANIELS

I was so damn concerned about Austin, I just wished he would have let me come into that old building with him. Anxiety overtook my body as I sat in my SUV, checking the time on my phone every minute, checking my rear-view mirror as well.

I desperately needed to know what Austin wanted to ask the The Elders. They werewolves in our pack with too much wisdom, they knew things that I'm quite positive I didn't want to know. They were almost superior to even Austin, The Alpha of the Blue Creek Pack.

I sighed while feeling overwhelming nervousness. I didn't have a reason to be nervous, although Austin did. I wondered if I was channeling my mates feelings. I couldn't tell because I hadn't felt that in so long.

I played with my hair as I waited for Austin to come back out, throwing it up into a tight pony tail before taking it out and runny my fingers through my hair. I didn't like how it looked and for some reason, I was momentarily self conscious of what he thought of me. I wanted him to think I was still as beautiful as I use to be when we were younger, happier.

I wanted so badly for our relationship to work out. In the end, if it didn't; I would never be happy without him anyway. It was a scary thought. To have your happiness totally dependent on someone else.

He came out in an hour. By that time I had nervously bit my lips until they were not in good shape. If he wanted to kiss me, they would no longer be smooth. Why was I so stressed?

I saw him coming to me and the steady pace that his chair allowed, and my heart sped. As he got closer, more details of his expression were revealed. I hoped for the best. I sucked my lips in and braced myself for the news as he approached. I quickly got out of the car to help him in, willing him with my eyes to tell me everything.

The thing was though, that I wasn't positive I even wanted to know. Sure, I had held out all hope that Austin could make a full recovery. I had been banking on the faraway dream of Austin waking up one day, with the ability to walk again. Many times I imagined him striding through our home, a big black garbage bag in his hand, throwing away every empty bottle of alcohol into it; I imagined him never looking back. Never casting a thought back on the hell we had lived in.

But it was a dream. Hope always turned into hopelessness. It was a toxic cycle in my mind. Almost worse than accepting the truth. Wolf's Bane was stronger than werewolves. It was stronger than us. Now the thought nagged at me again. But was the poison stronger than them? Than The Elders?

"Austin, is everything okay?" I inquired after we were both settled in for the drive back home.

"I don't know."

His response left me chilled. Not the words he said, but the tone they came out in. I was angry. Every time this anger boiled up inside me, I fought it. I couldn't be angry with Austin when it wasn't his fault. It was mine. No matter how many hours I spent in therapy trying to "understand that I wasn't the one to blame" I knew it would always be me. I would always be the reason for my mate's struggles. Now, at least.

I wondered what conspired in that building. But I didn't ask, because I didn't know how to. Did he ask them to summon her? Would they even oblige to his request with the stacks of unfulfilled duties that piled up each year Austin sat in his chair? Maybe they realized how badly our pack needed this miracle. Surely they would help.

"What did you say? What did they say?" I wondered, briefly glancing at him. He was relaxed. That was good.

"They said that I'm not the only werewolf who needs the same miracle from the The Goddess. They asked me, why I thought I deserved it more than a sixteen year old she wolf who was attacked by a rogue and left to die, in the Forrest outside Manhattan for a week with no help."

I was speechless. Why would The Goddess choose Austin? I couldn't think of a reason. Austin had proved to be the least deserving of something so rare and powerful. He'd been an unbearable jerk to me ever since the tragic accident. It broke my heart that Austin was cursed; doomed in a way. Still, I had to hope that maybe our family was the family that deserved a miracle straight from the Moon Goddess herself.

"When will you know, Austin?" I asked him softly. My eyes remained on the road, and my grip on the steering wheel tightened.

I had seen hope inside of my husband, inside of my mate before. That moment we had earlier, it was so far gone, the absence of it left an ache in my soul. I didn't even know how to continue as we drove down the windy road, back to our old life. When would something ever change? Was this really how my life turned out?