limerence.

𝙎𝙋𝙇𝙄𝙏 𝙈𝙔 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙉 𝙏𝙒𝙊.

i am going to be honest with you, darling.

it doesn't get any better after this.

you are going to wake up in cold sweats and tears, your throat is going to be dry from all the crying and screaming "why?" "why?" "why?" you're going to wish you were never alive, and you're going to feel every emotion in your body in high intensity.

will this pain ever go away?

truth be told, no.

it doesn't.

7 months ago, i was in the same position, i would wake up crying and screaming, blaming myself for someone else's mistakes when in reality i did nothing wrong.

i'm still in that position, stuck in cycle with someone who claims they love me but i know better. it isn't love, it's a manipulation. i was too in love with the idea of love to leave him. but you can. you can leave him and move on from you life, do something that i can't. do you understand baby girl?

yes i'm still trapped, trapped in a cycle of pain and lies but you have the opportunity to leave and make something of yourself. stand up and tell yourself that you are going to move on from this heartache, and live your life without this weight on your shoulders.

want to know what paradise is for me? paradise is being able to move on from a relationship that ruined you so badly you're terrified to move on. terrified that this is the only love you'll experience, scared that you're going to lose everyone who loves you because you're scared of leaving someone who is toxic to you. yes i tell myself that this is love but is it really? no it's not. a long time ago, yes, but now all i feel is pain whenever i am around them. i do not wish for you to feel the same way.

you deserve more than that. you deserve the world.

yes i may not be able to experience paradise because i am trapped, but you can.

you can experience these things that i cant, you just have to find the will to move on.

so will you?