limerence.

𝙍𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙈𝘽𝙀𝙍 𝙏𝙊 𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙂𝙀𝙏.

depression is another world. we talk about it behind closed doors. and in hushed voices. we hide it from the public. society has forced these ideals upon us that suicide is shameful. that we should be ashamed to speak aloud about suicide.

but how many suicides does it take for us to realize that this is becoming an epidemic. more and more common each day ideas of suicide are hidden ideas they generate hate, drive us to discriminate they make us feel as if no one understands that no matter how hard we try to block it out; to forget about it. it will always be there, unseen and unheard, but within us every day.

it creates a darkness deep inside us. one that we cannot destroy. it never goes away. so we sit alone in silent pain at night. our hearts shattered in a million pieces. yet we still smile, and we tell them we're fine. we force it when deep inside we know there is nothing real about that smile anymore. that small speck of hope inside begins to fade what they see is just the disguise.

they can't even begin to imagine what hides underneath. our perception soon changes. we, ourselves, become the bullies. we begin to beat up ourselves within our own minds. we listen to those dark and evil things the monsters say to us over and over.

until our emotions take control. we're in pain, but we refuse to show it.

we bottle it up deep inside us because if they knew it would never be the same. but they'll never know how deeply you're hurting; how terrible it really is. you want them to understand you, to know your pain. you want them to feel sorry for you, but you know they won't understand.

so this pain is kept inside us, like a secret enclosed with a lock.

until we can't take it anymore. until it hurts so much the pain is just too unbearable. it comes to a breaking point, a point in which you've hit rock bottom. and once you're there, there's no going back.

it's over.

they tell us that we can just talk it out. that a couple words can prevent you from taking your own life. but it's hard to understand someone who has spent so much time convincing themselves they aren't as good as the rest of us. to adults the concept is so elementary. that a child could be so emotionally torn about the smallest things.

to them it's nothing, but to us a single word means the world.

so we tell ourselves that we are not enough. and in those last few moments we ask ourselves. can suicide really be a choice. if it's the only choice available?

it's become so painful so mental that we think killing ourselves is the ONLY way out.

we don't even begin to think about what we are leaving behind, the people who care we get so caught up in the thoughts that we don't think about consequences. we don't think back to those years as a kid. when were happy and constantly smiling.

and as we grew older, we just got caught up in ourselves.

and we wasted all of our precious lives thinking that this was the end. we wasted all of our time thinking that we don't belong here, that we weren't meant to be here.

and one day you'll look back on all of those years of pain and misery you'll graduate high school and college and whisper "I do" you'll finally hold your beautiful baby in your arms.

and you'll look back on all the times you thought you would never make it.

that you could never succeed.

and you'll wipe away yours tears.

and you'll say, "I made it."