Blue Fire

Chapter Fifteen - Uprooted

SARA

It was official. I was the new club slut. I was the girl who willingly spread my legs for Catch now, whenever he crooked a finger. They all knew it, they'd seen it happen and even after two weeks of that, I couldn't stop. He didn't really talk to me, get to know me or was even very nice to me. He told me to get naked and I was wet and quaking within seconds. He didn't hang around when he was done with me, he didn't cuddle or do much of anything other than roll out of bed, go to my bathroom to dispose of the condom before he got dressed, said 'later' and then left. I was a substitute for his hand, I got that real quick the second time he fucked me, and for some goddamned reason I kept on letting it happen.

The rest of my existence here had changed dramatically. I no longer went to the shop because Green hadn't so much as looked at me since I came back from shopping with Sona, and the rest of them were pretty much ignoring me non-stop. They'd answer when I spoke to them, but they didn't smile at me anymore, they didn't ask me to go on rides, they didn't engage with me really at all. Green wouldn't answer when I talked to him, and so far, I'd tried to corner him twice, both times ending in me yelling at his back as he left on his bike not to be seen again for a few days.

I was basically shunned by the group of men who'd taken me in as their pet. And now I was a stray once again, only one without much of a home.

I went on drives by myself, driving into town, beyond it and wondered what in the fuck I'd done wrong as well as what to do about all this. I had a sick, sad feeling whenever one of my former friends were around. I spent most of my days alone, either trying to figure out how to fix it or, shamefully, waiting for whenever Catcher would turn up to take my mind thoroughly off the topic and into a place where friends didn't matter, only the moment.

I missed them. I missed them like a limb as I wandered around amongst them like a ghost. I wasn't Wilder anymore, not really. The ones who'd given a shit didn't anymore and I was back to being their ward, their charity case and a nuisance.

If I could have spoken to anyone about it I would have, but the only biker who'd really spend time with me was Catcher, and both our mouths were usually occupied with other things when we were around each other. Sona noticed me fading, and I could tell she was sad about it. But she didn't have the power they had, she couldn't force them to like me again.

I'd basically traded a group of brothers, of great friends, for a great fuck who didn't want to talk to me.

It built in me, the need to get the fuck away from here and away from the familiar feeling of not belonging. The issue was that I'd once belonged here, I now knew what it felt like to be a part of something, have friends, have a sense of home. Also, I was addicted to a biker's dick.

When he wasn't with me, I longed for him. I longed for the taste of him, the feel of him, the rough groans, the growled orders I happily obeyed. And that made me an idiot.

I knew what Sona had said, that he had issues, that I shouldn't hang my star on him, but there weren't many trees around nowadays and he was all I had around here that made me feel good some of the time. Besides her, of course, but she had a home and a life of her own she looked to, leaving me here feeling lonely in the middle of a crowd.

And that was the kicker of it. I'd gotten used to not being lonely, and now that it was back it felt like a hole in my gut, a hole that hadn't existed before. They say you don't know what you have until you lose it, and that is very much true.

I'd been here for over six months, closing in on seven. I knew it was time for me to leave, I'd seemingly definitely overstayed my welcome by now. But I kept stalling to get another hit of Catcher and what he did to me. I had my GED, I had some money saved up, I had my car and I really should have been long gone.