Iron Dad One Shots (mcu)

Cool Ranch Doritos

A/N: Requested by @Mimi120105. Thank you for reading!

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"Mr. Staaaaaark! Mr. Wilson took all the doritoooooos!"

"What are you talking about?" Sam drawled, taking another chip from the red bag and popping it into his mouth. "There's still more in the pantry."

"Yeah, Cool Ranch! I wanted the Nacho Cheese ones. Those are better."

"Oh my god, half-pint, they're chips. They don't even taste that different."

Peter gasped dramatically and marched to the couch Sam was lounging on, trying to swipe at the family-sized bag. Sam held it over his head, out of Peter's reach, and pushed him back with his foot.

"Nope. Get your own."

Peter groaned and reached for the bag one more time without success. He grabbed the bag of Cool Ranch doritos resting on the coffee table and flopped onto the loveseat next to the couch.

"What are you watching?" Peter piped up after a rough five seconds of silence.

Sam didn't bother looking up from his phone. "Cops."

"Ugh. I hate that show. Gimme." he reached for the remote but Sam snatched it away before he could, eyebrows creased in annoyance.

"No way. You can go watch Care Bears or whatever in your own room."

"You're on your phone, you're not even watching it! You can watch your show in your own room. I'm putting Brooklyn Nine-Nine on."

Sam groaned and shielded the remote from Peter as he tried to take it. Just then, Bucky shuffled into the room (probably just after training — his hair and clothes were caked in sweat and he was holding a half-eaten protein bar) with a bored expression.

He opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes shifted towards something behind the two bickering Avengers and his eyes widened. His mouth was still open, almost comically, and he blinked a few times.

"What?" Sam huffed before turning his head towards where Bucky was looking. "Oh, shit."

Peter furrowed his brows in confusion at first, but then he saw it.

His entire decathlon team. Staring right at him.

In his sweats.

Fighting over Doritos and TV remotes with the Falcon.

He choked on his breath. His dumbfounded manner was matched by his equally dumbfounded classmates.

He knew there was a tour of the tower today. That was the whole reason he feigned a sickness to May so he could avoid embarrassment. But apparently, wherever Peter Parker was, embarrassment in front of his idols was not far behind. And to be fair he did not expect Tony to bring the kids to this room.

"...And that, ladies and gents," Tony said, suddenly appearing next to them, looking pissed as hell, "concludes our tour."

"Penis Parker!?" Flash blurted out. "You hang out with the Avengers!?"

Peter noticed Tony's brows narrow at the nickname, but he was a bit too preoccupied with the whole his class is looking at him fight over what TV show to watch with an Avenger to care.

"Well... as, um, an intern for Mr. Stark..." he floundered awkwardly, "I... uh... have certain advantages..."

"Not anymore he doesn't." Sam teased. Peter shot him a withering glare before looking back to Tony.

"You said you were sick."

"I was! I am. I'm just... feeling better."

"Much better," Bucky commented, looking at Peter skeptically and sneaking a Dorito into his mouth.

Peter sputtered out a reply but Sam was quick to cut him off. "Don't sweat it kid, we won't tell May."

"Holy fucking shit." Flash muttered. Tony all but scowled at him.

"Language."