Today I Met The Girl I'm Going To Marry | jensoo

Chapter 43

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I have no idea how much time has passed since Jennie left.

Nothing seems to matter anymore.

Nothing.

The pain I feel consumes me.

I feel like I'm being swallowed by it.

I hug my knees to my chest as the tears pour out.

It hurts all over.

Every inch of me hurts.

I can't believe what Jennie said.

Or the way she looked at me.

Like I wasn't somebody she wanted to be around.

Hell, I can't even believe I ruined the best thing in my life by sleeping with Irene.

Stupid doesn't even begin to cover what I am.

I just want to curl up into a ball and pretend the last three days never happened.

I close my eyes and try to remember what it felt like to have Jennie hold me while we watched fireworks together at Disneyland.

How amazing it felt to be in her arms.

How it felt like I was right where I was meant to be.

But I can't get that feeling back.

The warmth that Jennie gave me is gone.

All I feel is cold.

Ice cold.

And alone.

Eventually I crawl over to my couch and cry until I have no more tears left.

Then I just lie on my back, with my eyes open as I try to figure out where it all went so very, very wrong.

I can't understand how Jennie and I went from such good times to the awful, horrific way things ended when she surprised me this morning.

What a terrible surprise.

It doesn't help matters that I can't stop thinking about all the possible reasons she came over.

Maybe she came to talk and I ruined everything.

"Jisoo, are you decent?" Rosé asks as she knocks on my front door.

I forgot she was coming over.

I don't want to see her.

I don't want to see anyone.

"I know you're in there," Rosé shouts. "And I have a key, so either you open up or I'm coming in."

Damn.

I guess I can't hide forever anyways.

I trudge my wary body over to the door and open it even though I'd rather not.

"Oh my god!" Rosé exclaims when she sees me. "What the hell happened? You look just awful."

Gee.

Now I feel so much better.

Thanks for the ego boost.

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumble on the way back to my couch.

Of course Rosé will have none of that.

She follows me and even though I try to avoid this conversation she won't allow me to.

Rosé pulls me up so I'm facing her. "What's wrong?"