In More Ways Than One - Kiribaku

Long, Restless Night (K&B)

I smiled at him actually using the name for once. "I guess I do then." I replied, passing him toward the stairs. He follows, a respectful space away from behind me. "How long do your thoughts keep you up at night?" I asked, curious to know what I'm getting into. I looked back to him after a few minutes. I stopped, snapping my fingers in his face before he bumped into my back. His eyes blink and look up at me, full of sorrow. I sigh, turning back toward the direction of his dorm, "I'll say it again," I put a tired smile back on my face, "How long do your thoughts keep you up before you can sleep?" I rephrased it a bit better just incase he zoned because of my intention to start talking again. He rubs at his neck, seeming to focus on reaching the door first,

"I dunno, 5 or 6 hours? It's pretty fucking bad." He admits, placing his hand on the handle. He twists and pulls the door open for him first then me. I took that in, seeing how much pain Kiu had caused him. He flopped right onto his ruffled covers, ignoring my existence for a bit with his eyes closing. 

"Anything I can do to help?" I shuffled through my bag on his empty desk, not making eye contact. He rubs his face in his palms, exhaling deeply,

"It's-- nothing, I'll be fine." He tries to assure me. My head lifts up from my search and looked over at him. I wasn't trying to give him a sorrow or a pity look but Kirishima just loves doing it that way sometimes,

"Are you sure?" I wasn't trying to be pushy but I'm not very convinced by his act. He takes his hands away from his face now,

"I said, I'll be fine." He restated, a bit pissed off. I barely roll my eyes, looking back into the bag,

"I'm just letting you know." I pulled out a few blankets and small pillows I had saved, "I am, like, right here."  I couldn't help but chuckle, throwing the objects down without a care. He craned his head to the sides, trying to get a few cracks out of his neck as he ignored me like a toddler. I was sure that my memory was not as clear as day but he's definitely more pissy than when he wasn't so insecure and moody. "I just want a little bit of cooperation dude, that's all I ask." I held my finger up before he could spit back. I smiled, satisfied and mockingly turned my attention to him, "You're tired and I'm tired, just try to keep it down and we'll both be easy riding from here." I lowered my finger. His eyes eagerly followed it, waiting my next move. He was like a puppy at times which put me off. 

It was like a switch had been flipped whenever he was actually following and listening to me. A switch that was only set to 30 seconds and was like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode with the little pride that he earned back today. I'll admit, I was proud even if he was a little rusty after so long. I just couldn't wait for that dance and then it would be the perfect time to tell him, right?  His eyes flicker to mine, studying my awoken soul. And just like that, in those extra few minutes of studying and feeling of like we got to know each other, the bomb went off and his eyebrows lowered.  

"Whatever.." He mumbled, scooting the covers from under him. I sucked on my lip, trying to forget that time of staring. He definitely saw something in me that was so true and real but his face held nothing more than complete confusion and total understanding at once. It made my head hurt like hell. I sighed silently, Spreading the blanket down on the cold wood floors. I put one down for when I laid down and two on the sides of me to keep me a little huddled. I threw the pillows in random spots, taking a few back into the bag once there was a pile by the desk chair. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bakugo shift uncomfortably on the mattress, sometimes focusing on me or just on the ceiling and floor. I couldn't help but feel a little bad. 

"Just tell me if you feel anxious, I'll listen." I reminded him, standing up to go turn off the light. I was surprised to hear a sweet mutter,

"I'll-- I'll keep it in mind.." His cheek was pressed against the surface of the mattress, his eyes focused on something else in the room I wasn't trying to check for. My smile warmed and I nodded in return. I sat down carefully on the blanket, draping another one over me. I somehow turned toward his bed, seeing the fluffy blond hair my past life soul had fell in love with, "Thanks for helping me get another chance, I-I'll try to appreciate it more.." It was a quite mumble as always. I was probably smiling super wide now but I didn't mind. I was closer than ever in this new body than I thought I would get and I'm not dead due to his outrages, I was pretty fucking happy. 

"Get some rest Bakugo, just holler if anything happens." My eyes close soundly for the next few hours.

-- 2-3 HOURS LATER (B)--

Let's be honest, I didn't want to call for anyone in situations of sleep deprive or anxiety factors that went off the charts. I have never done that and I didn't want to start tonight. It was the same thing over and over again, I would get about 30 minutes of sleep, wake up in a cold sweat, have doubts and extreme worries over minor things that I was failing on, lose all hope and feeling of my body completely and then pass out into another 30 minutes. 

It was 12:43 am right now, just about to turn 1 and I've really been holding back from trying to wake that red head up. My breathing was rapid as I laid my cheek against the pillow. A cold sweat ran down my back and slid the covers off of my feet some more. I would get through this like always, just by myself, reassuring myself that everything I am doing is right. I just woke up from what seems like 20 to 25 minutes instead which isn't very good. My body was trying to convince me get him to comfort while my mind is doubting so many reasons with that. 

I'm not weak, I just have a lot of trust issues right now. I decided to close my eyes for a little bit, hoping sleep would just take me. But it never did. The cold sweats started again as I gripped the mattress cover. I didn't know how long I could keep this up, I didn't fall into his help but I would never get any sleep like this. Soon enough if I didn't, 3 am would roll around and I would be sobbing helplessly like a child. I needed to stop this before anything else,

"E-Ejiro..?" My voice was quiet, it held quite a lot fear and reconsideration. I didn't want to startle him out of sleep but it would be hours if I just laid here whispering to get his attention. I sighed quietly, shifting out of bed. My feet hit the cold floor like always, sending worse shivers down my spine. I carefully moved my feet, sliding down till I was sat there with my legs almost huddle to my chest. If you felt my heart right now, it was running a marathon probably. This made me so anxious and afraid more than an actual nightmare. I could hear it in my own ears. I snaked my arm from out under me, shifting my position a little. I slowly reached his shoulder and lightly tapped on it. I held my breath, doing it once more. Fuck, I hate myself. "Ejiro.." I whispered, a little stronger. My lip held between my teeth as nothing but silently snores come from him. 

This was hopeless, I was hopeless if I didn't have the courage to wake someone up without thinking twice. I nudged his arm with just slight more force than with tapping. A slight annoyed groan came from him. At least I was getting something. I had to try my hardest to ignore the guilt that was building up inside me. He doesn't deserve to listen your bullshit, it mocked me. I was relieved to hear that groan just a bit, "Ejiro, i-it's me." I kept shaking his arm slowly. His arm came up and snaked over his eyes, trying to wake himself up. I stop shaking him, keeping my distance. He quietly sighs, taking his arm away from his face. The room was dark and full of fear but at the exact same time, it came to life when he looked at me. The moon set into place perfectly through the window over my desk when his smile was sleepy but happy to see me,

"How can I help, Bakugo?"