In More Ways Than One - Kiribaku

Long, Restless Night {Part 2} (K)

Inside, I could tell he was happy by my words. He looked worn and overall tired. The deep pit in me grew that he couldn't sleep for the past few hours. His face was washed of color, all white and flushed around the cheeks and forehead. 

"You look terrible.." I admitted, softly brushing my fingers around his cheek. My eyes soften as they find his. He looked as if he had lost the ability to speak, just sitting there, sweating like mad. I must've startled him. I sat up, shifting on the messy covers. I had to rub over my eyes again. My head turns to the moonlight that came through the window. It shined over Japan and the dorms, it was quite beautiful, "You got a great view here." I was just hoping my observations was helping him calm down by the sound of my voice. He nodded against the side of the mattress. I stretched my legs as they stood up, a few cracks here and there. 

My palms rest again the wood of the desk, my strained and tired eyes study the moon. I look back to his scared figure, sitting huddled on the floor. The time bomb had been set to whenever the sun would rise now, it was just his real self and me. I was hoping he would open a bit more. I gestured my head toward the window. His eyes crinkled in confusion. I put on a restless smile, gesturing my hand. He lightly sucks in his lip and slowly makes his way up. He shuffled towards my right side, flinching his eyes at the powerful light. 

"I'm-- sorry for waking you, I..I can see how tired you are of me.." 

His voice was barely there as my head turned to him. The pit was growing deeper but I wasn't giving up on him. I shook my head, nudging his shoulder gently with mine. His sleep deprived eyes slowly found mine and blinked. His mouth was a straight line that could spelled out, "Depressed." "I'm glad you woke me, I can see how much this gets to you." His eyes flicker away from mine as he takes it in, "Stop me if I get too deep but, what's keeping you up more.." I licked at my lips before continuing, "The fact that Kiu died or the fact that you couldn't or weren't able to stop it." I really wanted to know what was hurting him. We have to confront the situation head on and beat it from there. His eyes got foggier and glossier at the same time. He pushed his lips together, losing my eye contact completely toward the window instead. 

"All I know is that I didn't stop it.." His voice was thin, like a sheet of ice on a pond and the pond was the realization of guilt. Bakugo was stepping on it, already having enough to deal with and I made him walk on it. "I could've saved him, I could've killed that damn villain and moved on, Kiu would still be here if I did.." The cracks ran all around his feet, right to the soft stop and Bakugo was being too focused on crossing to realize something else, "But I didn't..and it's all my fucking fault.." One step away from falling deeper down the pit that's growing inside me. "I killed him." 

One step too much closer and bam, right through the soft spot, right through that sheet that I eagerly made him walk. Sinking and drowning right down to the very end of a panic attack that was waiting to happen for so long and now, it was my fault. I heard his breathing get heavier as that same guilt steeped in, into his skin, under it, into his mind. He grabbed a useless pencil cup and gripped it in his hand. It sped an inch away my face toward the wall in anger. His eyes were more than glossy now, they were full of anger, confusion and consideration of something that would never be his fault. He tried to grab for something half way across the table, trying to grab over my arm. I held him back, pushing him away from any stuff he could reach, 

"Hey, hey, hey.." I called, softly. Full tears stream down his cheeks as he stops trying to reach for something. The backs of his feet stand only a few inches away from the wood frame of his bed. I shushed his quietly, taking my arms away from under his. He bit hard on his lip, still not looking at me. I sigh deeply, running my hand over my face, "Listen to me.." I started, assuringly. His eyes soften a bit and take away from the wall before I continued. His stare shot at the little space between us, down at the floor. "It is not your fault, non of it is. You didn't kill him, you didn't doom him, trust me." His head slightly moved, I hoped he was nodding. "It was his own decision to run in a little less hectic and not aware of his surroundings." I wasn't proud of myself for doing that, I should've known better but I was the one who caused Bakugo pain and I would be the one to stop it. 

"B--But, if I was just there with him, they would've taken me instead." He pleaded for this problem to be his fault. I shook my head, trying to get him to look up a bit more, 

"But you were busy saving people, something that is more important than actually killing the villain. You should proud that you saved millions of people that day." He let my hand gently rest on his shoulder. "Do not beat yourself over this, remember why you're getting back into it. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for Kiu, he would want this." I tried to make sure my eyes didn't tear up as well. I do want him to do this, in Kirishima's body or not, I loved seeing him so passionate about becoming a hero. I couldn't believe the same Bakugo was standing in front of me, scared and worried for his future. I'm pretty sure he would be making fun of his weak form if they weren't in the same body. His nodding became more clear, I could see his beautiful face again. Those ember eyes I loved staring into lost their spark and I couldn't believe I would ever had to relight them. 

"He would want this." He agreed quietly. I smiled, gripping his shoulder in assurance. "Thank you Ejiro.." Before I knew it, the cold and bitter Bakugo that I was helping for the next few weeks had pulled me into a hug, hiding his face in my chest. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sudden move and hug him back,

"You're welcome." I rubbed a small bit of his back, pulling away when he did. His face showed a sign of a bit more happiness than I ever thought I would see again. The corner of his mouth curved into a small smile as my hand pulled back from his shoulder. I think he trusted me  a bit more now, that made my insides flip with joy. "You gonna be okay tonight?" 

He contently nodded, turning a tiny bit to sit on his bed a get comfortable, "I think so." I could only raise my eyebrows and smile him one of the smiles I knew he hated but was fine with. He rolls his eyes with that small smile, turning away once he had settled down again. 

"Then goodnight Bakugo." I had settled in myself, caring less about the messed up covers. I was happy that Bakugo had opened a bit and was comfortable with a small hug. My smile was beyond huge and could've blinded so many people. His sweet voice picked up after the last thing I had said which I was extra happy to hear,

"Goodnight."