Our Hope

Chapter 28

As we ate breakfast, the air felt heavy; Komaeda had a way with words that could shift entire relationships. His too obvious subtly towards our history made the remainder of the morning awkward. I wanted to know why Byakuya was flustered over Nagito's question, but I knew it was a bad idea to ask.

"Why did Komaeda refer to you about 'not needing to feel ashamed'?" He asked quickly between sips of his second cup of coffee. I didn't need to look up to acknowledge his vicious gaze.

"It's in the past, Byakuya. I'd prefer not to speak about old habits". I could feel my appetite fading.

"Habits?" Byakuya stopped attempting to eat altogether.

Sighing, I set my utensils down. "Nagito and I had an open relationship. We were 'reckless' as you said earlier," I spat out the words, feeling the grime of the reality creeping over my skin. Byakuya only continued to stare. "Do you want a timeline with excruciating detail?" I mocked. I continued to eat in the silence, trying to avoid his persistent eyes.

"Of course not. I'm struggling to picture you in that situation," he spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully.

I smacked my hands down on the table, "Damn it, Byakuya, do not antagonize me!" Just as the words left my mouth, I shrank back. Shock had consumed his features, taken aback by my outburst. "I-I didn't mean to yell," I could hear Junko's laughter; I cowered into my hands, feeling as if a migraine was about to surface. "Excuse me," I said, bolting from my chair and skipping steps towards the bedroom.

Byakuya waited, rather impatiently, for Makoto and Kyoko to arrive. He had called both to ensure one of them would help Karen leave their bedroom. Neither bothered to wait for Byakuya as they entered immediately. "Finally. I wasn't sure how much longer I could tolerate doing nothing," he paced from one end of the living room to the other. As quickly as the two could listen and comprehend, Byakuya summarized the discussion he and Karen had.

Kyoko and Makoto shared an expression of discomfort. "Enoshima must be the cause," Kyoko said, lost in her deductions. "Call Komaeda. He might be able to help".

Byakuya scoffed, "Who's to say that Komaeda isn't also part of the reason?"

"I know you want to look after her, Togami, but...Komaeda knows a lot about Karen," Makoto's eyes flickered away from Byakuya's offended eyes. "Especially about her relationship with Enoshima".

'Damn it,' he thought. Byakuya knew that Naegi had a point, but still debated the course of action. Turning his head, he stared at the bedroom door; this would be another pill he would be forced to swallow. Striding past the pair, Byakuya began typing at the telecom in the kitchen. Several seconds of ringing later, a bouncing Mioda answered. Giving a rather theatrical hello, the musician attracted others to the screen; none of whom were Nagito Komaeda. "Where is Komaeda?" Byakuya's demanding demeanor silenced the chaos.

"Most likely with Hinata. Why? What d'you need him for?" Kuzuryuu yelled across the room, from the lobby couches.

"He has information that I need immediately".

As if on cue, Mioda pulled out a refurbished cell phone and continued to bounce about the lobby until Komaeda answered. "Hey! Big Bucks needs you pronto!" She nodded a few times and hung up, staring at an imaginary watch. "Any second now!"

When Nagito and Hajime finally stepped through the front door, anyone could tell that Komeada wasn't pleased. "I didn't expect you to seek out my company, Togami".

Byakuya grimaced, "This isn't a social call. I need you to tell me everything you know about Karen and Enoshima's relationship". For both sides, hearing the name Enoshima was enough to trigger several horrible memories. They continued to stare each other down, both weighing the benefits of this conversation.

Nagito clicked his tongue against his teeth, "I shouldn't," he said, shaking his head. "I'm sure there are mistakes she would prefer to stay hidden". His eyes flew to the doorway, noticing me leaning against the frame. When I didn't say anything, his gaze narrowed; I wasn't much of a sight with puffy eyes and weak posture. "What has she told you?" Nagito finally met Togami's eyes again.

"I...barely know anything about her," Byakuya stammered over the realization.

"You haven't told them anything?" Nagito's voice went cold, staring me down. I prepared to turn my back on him. "You can't walk away from this, Karen! None of us can!" If he was in the same room, I knew his hands would be on my arms. "Stop acting like you're the only victim!"

I snapped my head back, "Shut your whore mouth!" I jutted a finger at the screen. "I know I'm not the only one who wakes up every night, remembering the smell of burning bodies and reliving their friends' deaths!" My fingers curled into fists, bile prickling in the back of my throat.

"Are you including Enoshima?" Nagito grimaced. "She convinced you to start shoving your fingers down your throat! She pushed you to bludgeon strangers! She ruined us!" I had never heard Nagito this angry. "Do you know what it was like to watch you binge eat and then have to hold your hair back?"

"You talk as if you know what commitment is. The only thing you committed to was making sure you were gone the morning after!" This morning's headache returned, pulsing behind my eyes. "You were just a scared little boy!"

"You did everything for her! I was just looking out for you," His anger began to subside, burning out from arguing. "We could've prevented all of this from happening".

I shook my head. "No. Shooting her wasn't going to fix anything. She wasn't worth going to jail for".

Nagito closed his eyes, sighing. He looked back at a stunned Byakuya, "You have your answer". The call ended, leaving us to stare anywhere except at each other.