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I laid in bed just staring at the ceiling. I had been staring for about an hour just thinking about Ashton. Tears formed in my eyes because I knew he must've felt awful, worse than awful, having to live with the fact that he partially killed someone. I couldn't bare to think about how sad he was. He was probably depressed, he probably spent nights just wishing it was him who died. I wished that I could relate to him somehow but I knew I couldn't. I just want to hold him and never let go. I want to tell him that it's all going to be ok, but I how would I know if it was?

-

ASHTON'S P.O.V

I always get this feeling. This feeling that I'm falling. It starts off slow, more like floating and my body seems to go numb until I can't feel anymore and the world doesn't seen so bad. Then suddenly, the wind picks up and the falling becomes more rapid and reality sets in and I keep falling faster and faster, not knowing when in going to stop. I try to grab onto something but there's nothing to catch me while I fall and my lungs hitch and I can't breathe any longer and I'm suffocating and I feel like I'm drowning. My body goes all weak and limp and I start cracking and crumbling away until I'm absolutely nothing anymore. It's one of the worst feelings ever. It hits me at random times and leaves me completely speechless and frozen. I try to push it away but I cant. Sure, I can distract myself but it never fully goes away. It's all my fault too. If that one night never happened I don't think I would even have to experience this horrible sensation. It takes up my thoughts most of the time, but when it's not I'm thinking of Melanie. All I want is for her to be happy, she deserves it. I think I'm starting to fall in love with her. I try to get rid of the thought but I can't. I don't deserve her but I want her. I want her more than anything, and hopefully she wants me too.

-

CALUM'S P.O.V

"Do something with your life you shit!" I heard my Dad yell at me from across the hall.

"Well you're the one who raised me!" I fired back at him then quickly ran to my car slamming the door. I kept driving looking in the windows of any store possible trying to find a help wanted sign. Just as I was about to turn back I spotted a little place out of the corner of my eye. It was a small hardware store with a 'help wanted' sign in the window, how hard could it be?

__________________________

OH SNAP CALUM

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