Afterglow

Lonely

Sat atop the cold roof of his home at the dead of night, Marco couldn't help but feel a bit lonely.

He'd stare up into the sky above and see a vast and endless expanse beyond comprehension, of pure, void black mixed in with millions of shining stars lightyears away. He'd watch the city around him, with hundreds of individual lights radiating off in the horizon and of cars passing by, whirring as they went off into the unknown. He'd see it all move by him, sitting on the sideline as time elapsed.

Then, he'd look at himself.

A single boy, doing nothing but lying around, on a single roof in a single town, in a single planet, in a single galaxy. A miniscule spec in space, who existed with billions of others who were just the same as him. A pointless, unpurposeful being that had a set expiry date and couldn't do so much as to leave a mark on the world.

He'd live, triumph, flounder, and die, leaving the world the same as he'd entered it.

Indeed, coming up here every so often, left to the silence of his thoughts without the world calling, was a unique experience. It made his worldy concerns and grievances fade away, and brought his place in the world into perspective, as one piece in a greater picture.

It was a moment in which the constant sounding and distractions of life stopped consuming his mind, and allowed him to look at himself in a way impossible during the stressing hours of the day. It was a moment in which both negative and positive aspects of living came to be realized.

It made his daily struggles seem less important and less stressful, yet it also brought into question the reasoning for it all, as if doing anything had no real value in a universe so wide and so boundless.

Sometimes, as a result, he would drift into questions of, "Why?"

"Why keep living in a world in which nothing you do matters?"

"Why try when none of it actually changes anything?"

"Why go and do something when no one will remember you for it?"

And sometimes, these thoughts would go away, other times, they'd linger in his head for long periods of time, only ending as sleep called and brought the day to an end.

Maybe it could've been explained by the fact that Marco was a teen. A person who became increasingly conscious of the world around him, a person who was struggling with his purpose and calling in life. A person who was simply changing, and still adapting to new responsibilities and understandings.

Back then, he was acceptive of everything. Of his 'lone wolf' attitude towards others and of his overprotective attitude and closed sphere. He accepted himself and denied the ability of change.

But now, as his thoughts became more and more aware and reflective, something within him yearned for more. To stop hiding in a dense shell, to stop being looked upon as that person to avoid and ignore. To have stronger friendships and closer relationships, to have people to share the fun of everyday life with.

And as he spent his time up on that rooftop, as his existential thoughts lingered off and his ideas became clear, he couldn't help but feel alone.

Alone, in a sprawling city and vast infinity, with nobody to be by his side.

But the sound of her footsteps disrupted the ambience of silence and loneliness that had built up around him.

He felt a radiant warmth beside him as Star settled down beside him, just as silent and reflective as he was. She looked burdened, her energy and eagerness having faded. Her eyes were searching, and her posture uncertain.

They stayed like that a moment longer, sitting next to one another, avoiding eye contact, before Star began leaning on him, seemingly longing for that same companionship and support he felt in need of.

He lightly flinched at her touch before slowly putting his arm around her, calmly and lightly brushing her hair, comforting her. They both stared up at the dark skies above, not having ushered a word to each other as they let their actions speak instead.

He felt that feeling of loneliness fade off, replaced by a sense of security and belonging brought on by her presence. A sense of purpose and fulfillment.

'So what if it all doesn't matter?' He thought to himself. 'So what if I won't be remembered?'

He was here now.

He was here with Star.

And that was all that mattered.

As long as he had Star with him, life was worth living.