Afterglow

facade (season 4)

(note: Curse of the Blood Moon spoilers, kinda)

(edit: for those of you who already read this chapter, know I revised it heavily to seem more linear and less confused, maybe give it a reread?)

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"I don't want my destiny determined by some creepy curse, but..."

"I like this."

She looked at his eyes as she grasped his hand. He traced his thumb around her fingers lightly, still keeping at the dance as his gaze drifted to the floor below him. "Yeah?... so do I."

His frown. His remorse and his sadness...

He must be feeling the same way as well...

All those thoughts and all those feelings. The ones that made her feel warm inside, made her laugh and smile and yearn...

All those simple moments they were together, where everything was perfect and no place in the world was better. All those adventures and those quiet little conversations they'd had...

All of the hugs they'd shared, which had seen them through the worst of hardships and happiest of days...

She cared about him. He cared about her. She would do anything for him and he'd do the same. They'd stick by each other till the very end. All of that time together, building that relationship...

Those awkward moments and those long discussions, those boundless escapades and those little moments... That fluttering feeling when they were together...

She didn't want to lose that! She didn't want to lose it for anything in the world!

And yet within seconds, all of that was going to be gone. Erased because of a single decision that couldn't be reversed now.

She had asked for this. Despite Relicor's warning and being given every opportunity to reconsider, she'd stepped right in without considering the consequences. And now, within minutes, she was regretting that.

She should've been happy that all was going to be erased. She others to care about as well. Marco wasn't everything. She had a boyfriend, for Pete's sake! This curse was getting in the way of their relationship. She had to get rid of it, not only for herself but for everyone else! To keep the curse present would be wrong!

Yet as she danced along with Marco, hand in hand in the red light, all she could think about was losing all of that. All she could care about right now was the last moments she had with Marco before it'd all go away. She couldn't help but feel the urge to cry knowing that their relationship would fade back into just...

Nothing...

Just being friends...

...

Why?

Why was she so afraid of losing these feelings?

Why did she so desperately want them to stay?

She always hated being forced to do something!

Always being told to act a certain way and feel a certain way, simply because of the fact she was born as a princess who has to follow pointless and arbitrary traditions and do things simply because everyone else wanted her to. That was not her way!

She did things because she wanted to! She'd be herself and forge her own path regardless of what everyone else thought! Fate and destiny meant nothing to her!

And for this curse to just define her course and force her mind towards feeling this way...

It meant everything between them was nothing more than a facade.