Afterglow

Not Good Enough

A/N:  If you're new here and just stumbled across this somehow, welcome! 

i got some crappy prompts here if you're interested in checking em' out

i'd recommend skipping to the ones titled with "(season 4)" if you want to read some better ones

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Star stood still, squinting her eyes and scrutinizing the laughing crowds and the portrayal of herself. A frown was becoming more and more apparent each passing moment. The play had just ended, yet the crowd was still uproarious in their banter and rowdy, cracking jokes about the royal family and their incompetence.

"Star, come on... let's just leave." Marco urged, trying his best to divert Star's attention from the procession in front of them, not wanting to see more of the scene afront him. "We gotta get back to work."

Star paused, and for a moment, she seemed to be on the verge of lashing out at the crowd, to show that everything they'd said wasn't true, that she cared for her people just as much as her mother, her grandmother, and every single one of her predecessors.

All her life, the people of Mewni seemed to hate her. They didn't believe in her. They didn't trust her. They didn't want her here.

Sure, maybe she'd been reckless once. She'd used to destroy things regularly as a child, to set fire to things and break with the tradition and etiquette of the royal family before.

But now, even now they still consider her a laughingstock. Like she's still that little kid who cared only for herself and for her little games. Even after she'd fought off Meteora, Toffee, Ludo, even after she'd saved their Kingdom from tyranny and darkness, they laughed.

So desperately had she wanted to prove her worth to her people, now more so than ever.

Yet it seemed that whatever she would try to do, they'd never acknowledge her efforts. They'd always find something to criticize, to comment on.

She'd defeated Toffee, she'd helped defeat Ludo, yet to them, she loved all Monsters.

She'd paid more attention to her royal duties, yet she was still apparently a child who couldn't be entrusted with anything serious.

She'd learned more about harnessing magic and spells, yet she was an incompetent buffoon who couldn't hold her own in a stressful situation.

Couldn't they see that she was trying?

That she'd lost her own mother-

Her thoughts froze up at the thought of her mother, and almost immediately, her demeanor shifted from one of pent-up anger to one of downcast sorrow. The weight of her absence began to bear down on her for the seemingly millionth time, and her heart began to feel heavy with her absence. Negative thoughts began to swell in her mind again, thoughts that both frightened her and continuously dragged her downward, and they continued to pop up repeatedly, faster and faster, until...

"Star?" Marco concernedly asked, putting his hand on her shoulder whilst gazing towards her downcast frown and still posture.

"Uh- huh? What?" Star confusedly snapped, jumping out of her mind as she was pulled back into the real world by his touch.

"You okay?"

"Oh, yeah! Totally... just uh... thinkin' to myself..." She stumbled out, putting on the best smile she could muster.

Marco raised an eyebrow at that statement, able to tell that whatever she was thinking about was something more important than she let on to believe. Her stature didn't budge though, and it was clear she didn't want to talk about what was troubling her, at least, not now.

"Alright... just know you can always talk to me, okay?"

"Yeah yeah, I know." She said rather quietly.

For a moment both of the teens were silent, but then River was quick to inject into the conversation. "Come on lads, let's go!"

River seemed just as distraught as Star was, although instead of having a more subdued attitude, was furious, mumbling to himself aloud, voicing the internal debate going on in his head as he walked forward, leading the group as both Star and Marco trailed after him.

They went down the same path they'd always went down, quiet as they waited for River to eventually cool off before planning where to look next.

The silence, however, was not helpful to Star in any way, because it meant she'd be left to her thoughts once again.

Once her surroundings settled down and her steps became more repetitive, her mind traced back to that play, her thoughts continuing down the same train of thought as before.

'What would mom do in a situation like this?' She asked herself, silently wishing that Moon was still there to help her.

Her thoughts began to shift.

'She'd get herself together and stop moping about She'd get to work and get stuff done. She'd actually do her job well. She'd push herself and outdo herself to be triumphant in the end, always level headed and prepared, always up for the challenge. That's why she'd gotten her title after all, Moon the Undaunted.'

And then she compared her to herself...

The girl who seemed to wreck everything her family stood for, who couldn't even garner respect from the peasants nor the nobles, who had no idea how to face the challenges of governing an entire kingdom herself.

The girl who had to rely on others to save her all the time, whether it was Moon, Eclipsa, River, Marco, or anyone else.

The girl who threw away old tradition and disregarded culture.

The girl who'd disappointed her parents and people so much that they'd decided to send her off to another dimension just so they wouldn't have to deal with the damage she'd create.

How did her achievements compare to those of her mother's? How could they even?

How could she even think to be on the same footing as her one day?

To be called Queen in the wake of people like her?

Maybe...

Maybe that's why everyone laughed at her.

She wasn't that rebel princess who'd change everything and make Mewni a better place.

She wouldn't be that queen who everyone, including monsters, would love and remember.

No.

Instead, she'd be that rebel princess whose desire to be different would destroy Mewni and it's legacy.

Now, more than ever, it was clear.

She wasn't good enough. She never was, and never would be.

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A/N:  Not the most positive way to end, but I do have an add-on chapter published on my FF account if you're looking for a better ending. I published it there a month earlier as well, so I guess that's a thing

ok thank you bye