Late Night Poetry

84.

phone log

July 20, 2014, 9:14 PM

you said you were sorry I felt this way. that no person should ever feel as bad as I do. that it's not fair that I have to go through a sadness like this.

July 21, 2014, 10:08 PM

you said you'd always be there for me. that you were my shoulder to cry on and my crutches when I needed support.

July 22, 2014, 12:54 PM

you told me that you enjoyed our late night talks. that you missed being able to talk face to face.

July 23, 2014, 7:32 PM

you said that it didn't matter what time it was, I could call you. and when we had the chance to see each other again that you'd drive to my house and we'd stay up all night eating junk food and crying about anything and everything.

July 24, 2014, 8:41 PM

I texted you crying. you said nothing.

July 25, 2014, 9:20 PM

I texted you crying. you said nothing.

July 26, 2014, 9:39 PM

I texted you crying. you said nothing.

July 27, 2014, 10:43 PM

I texted you crying. you said nothing.

July 28, 2014, 9:12 PM

I texted you crying. you said nothing.

July 29, 2014, 11:26 PM

I texted you crying. I said this was it. I couldn't deal with it anymore. no one was there for me. I couldn't live like this anymore. you said nothing.

August 2, 2014, 10:42 PM

you sent me paragraphs explaining why. you said you were sorry. you said you couldn't believe you weren't there when I needed you most. you said never again. you said you loved me.

August 3, 2014, 8:26 PM

you gave me advice on how to live life. you said I needed help, professional help. you said what I was going through was medically wrong and I needed to take action.

August 6, 2014, 10:29 PM

you asked to see how I was doing. I said I was good. You asked if I was just saying that or if I meant it. I said I meant it. I lied.

August 7, 2014, 11:14 PM

we talked for two hours about everything and nothing all at the same time.

August 8, 2014, 8:19 PM

I texted you.

August 9, 2014, 10:03 PM

I texted you.

August 10, 2014, 10:06 PM

I texted you.

August 11, 2014, 8:07 PM

I texted you.

August 12, 2014, 7:10 PM

I texted you crying. you said nothing.

August 13, 2014, 9:14 PM

you texted me back.

August 14, 2014, 11:27 PM

you said you would always be there for me. that now was the time to call me spontaneously at 3 am and you would answer. no more false promises, no more missed calls, no more unanswered texts, just you.

August 17, 2014, 12:14 PM

I texted you again. I told you I don't think I can do this. I said I wasn't mad even though you never kept your promise. I said I'll keep forgiving you over and over but I'm not sure why.

August 18, 2014, 8:55 PM

I didn't text you.

August 20, 2014, 7:43 PM

I sat staring at my phone with a message typed out but never delivered.

August 21, 2014, 9:11 PM

I gave up on you. I won't text you anymore.

August 24, 2014, 12:18 PM

all I want is for you to say something.

August 25, 2014, 11:09 PM

say something to me.

August 26, 2014, 1:18 AM

please.