KPOP ONESHOTS

Anxiety x Nomin

~requested~

-

Jeno had bad anxiety. By bad, he means that he could barely go out of the house, hang out with others or even wear the clothes he wanted too.

He had anxiety everywhere, his body, how he looked, how he talked, how he ate, how he slept, how and what he would wake up to in the mornings. Everything gave him anxiety.

But there's this one person who gave Jeno most anxiety if he was not near,

Na Jaemin.

His one and only true love, his other half. If Jaemin wasn't here, then Jeno couldn't do anything. He felt so exposed and useless without him, and couldn't help but hurt inside.

"Jeno? You okay baby?" A soft voice interrupted his thoughts and Jeno instantly was awoken from his thoughts as he looked up from his book. He looked over to see Jaemin, with 2 mugs of hot cocoa and a warm smile planted onto his face, Jeno immediately calmed himself and gave a soft smile back.

"Fine, just...thinking." Jeno whispered as he set aside his book and took his mug from Jaemin as he watched him sit beside him. Jaemin wrapped his arm around Jeno and looked at him; worriedly.

"You sure?" Jaemin asked in a soft voice as he ran his fingers through Jeno's soft hair.

"Just my anxiety kicking in." Jeno said below a whisper and didn't bare to make eye contact with Jaemin. Jaemin sat there for a moment and stared at Jeno.

"It's okay." He spoke. "You don't have to worry your safe Jeno. Don't be so paranoid, I'm here." He said.

"I know." Jeno said as he leaned into Jaemin. Jeno knew Jaemin was here with him, he knew, and yet he still didn't think he was safe. His thoughts were holding him captive and he just wanted to run away, from himself. Jeno hated having anxiety, it's like being stuck in a big black box that you can't escape. He felt so dark and- scared.

"Jeno, I have to go to work in a bit. Will you be okay?" Jaemin asked softly while pushing Jeno's hair out of his eyes. Jeno looked up at him, eyes pleading for Jaemin to not go. Every-time Jaemin would leave Jeno would have flashbacks, horrible memories and anxiety attacks him. Jeno felt anxiety set in his stomach.

"Jeno?" Jaemin said again.

"I'll be okay." Jeno whispered.

"You sure?" Jaemin asked.

"I'm sure." Jeno then gave his eye smile and Jaemin smiled back and kissed his temple before getting up and proceeding to put his jacket on.

"I won't be long, I promise." Jaemin said and Jeno nodded as he watched Jaemin walk out the door into the winter cold. The door then closed and all Jeno could hear was silence.

Silence.

His anxiety kicked in and his mind went pounding, he began getting paranoid as he looked around and felt like someone was watching him. He felt unsafe.

He then quickly closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Your fine Jeno your fine nobodies here- your alone your fine." He kept whispering to himself and felt himself taking deep breaths.

"Your okay. Your okay." He kept whispering as he opened his eyes slowly, and looked around. Nothing. He calmed himself as he got up from the couch and walked to his room.

"Nothing Jeno. Nobodies here." He kept reminding himself as he walked into his room and changed his clothes into something comfortable. He then went and lied down in his bed, but didn't forget to open the window and turn on the small lamp. He couldn't be in complete darkness or else he'd panic and lose himself.

"Your okay. Jaemins gonna come back soon." He kept saying in his head and didn't dare to speak aloud. For he was scared that someone would hear and cast all his demons upon him.

He then started thinking about Jaemin. Would he come back? Will he? Or will he leave Jeno- leave Jeno as if he was nothing.

'No no Jaemin would never. He loves me. I know he does.' He tried to convince himself in his mind, but couldn't as he felt beads of sweat form. He couldn't handle the tension and the anxiety building up.

"Stop please stop." He whispered as he sat up all the sudden and placed both hands on the side of his head, closing his eyes as he panicked the light all the sudden.

"Your enough- Jaemin loves you-" He tried to convince himself but couldn't, he just couldn't. He then opened his eyes as he scrambled from his bed, feeling attacked by his own presence, and ran to the bathroom. He shut the door and fell to floor as he backed up into a wall facing the door.

He felt sick all the sudden and couldn't handle the pushing of temptation. How long had it been since Jaemin left? How long has it been? Jeno started panicking even more as he felt the air of his lungs go out and he suddenly couldn't breath. He felt so captivated he couldn't even think right and his breathing was now unstable.

"Jeno?" He heard a voice yell out from the other side of the door and he panicked even more. Who was calling for him? He wasn't bad- no he's good he can't be taken away.

"No no no no no." He kept repeating as the voice came closer and closer, he felt the warmth leave his body and his nerves shake himself out of common sense he couldn't control himself. He squeezed his eyes closed and put his hands over his head, hoping to save himself.

"Jeno! Jeno- hey it's me. It's Jaemin Jeno." He heard a soft voice say and felt warmth surround him. He felt kind, soft words being told to him, and he felt his breath come back. He felt his nerves go away and scurry off in fear on not being feared. He then dared opened his eyes, and looked up as he was met with worried brown ones.

'Jaemin.' His mind called out. 'Safe- home- safe-' his mind repeated.

"Jeno, are you okay baby?" Jeno heard that soft worried voice and instantly felt tears sting his eyes. He didn't deserve this- this sympathy. This soft talk of love and he didn't deserve happiness, and yet Jaemin still gave it to him.

"Sh Sh don't cry please don't cry." He heard the words speak again and could help the tears from falling. He embraced Jaemin, crying in his arms as he felt his sane come back. He felt strong arms wrap themselves around his small frame and felt safe. So safe- it was scary.

"Your okay Jeno. Your okay." Jaemin whispered on and on and Jeno finally believed it. He was safe- he was okay- Jaemin wasn't leaving.

"I love you Jeno." Jeno heard and felt his heart break into two. He thought how funny it was that 4 words could break him into pieces, and make him feel things that he thought he'd never feel. He loved it. He loved Jaemin.

"I love you too Jaemin."