A Girl's Collection

For My Grandmothers

The taste of biscuits and gravy still lingers on my tongue.
The feeling of the couch cushions below me while I had a dog tugging on a bone in my hand.
The warmth in my chest that grows from the embarrassing jokes and laughter is something that I can never replicate when alone.

You've never shown me an angry side.
A side in which I'm supposed to run in fear at first glance.
You've never shown me a hateful glare.
An expression in which I've never had to imagine.
You've only shown me love.

You've shown me the warm touch of your embrace as I bend down to give you a hug.
You've shown me the caution in your voice when telling me to drive safe.
You've shown me what it means to let loose and just poke around with family.
You have shown me what it takes to create a light and happy atmosphere.

I know that things don't always go right.
I know that plans don't always end perfectly.
I know that sometimes bodies can't hold up our wants and hopes as it puts us to bed for rest.
I understand all of that.

And yet, I've never seen your downfall.
I've never seen you cry.
I've never seen you fall and not get up.
I've never seen you not happy.
And I believe that that has helped all of us in the long run.
For when we see someone strong and passionate before us, it makes us want to strive for me and work to become just like you.

Happy Mother's Day Grandma!
I love you forever and ever! I just can't seem to help it!

——

When you stand out in an open field, with horses grazing and dogs playing, you never realize that we are standing behind you until you turn around.
You never realize we have your back until the time is right and you call upon the children and grandchildren that have come to call this place the Red Horse Ranch.

When you sit in your recliner chair and joke about the people on television, you never see the slight embarrassment we get from time to time in our eyes.
You never realize that you make our days better with every comment or smile.

When you saddle up your noble steed and then pull out your step stool to reach the stirrups to get on, you never see the giggle in our throats or the excitement in our closed hands.
You never see that we are always watching you.
Always watching to see what comedy you will put on next.
You never see that the generations you have helped raised to become adults can't thank you enough.

We can't thank you enough for you are the reason why we stand.

You are the reason why we get so sleepy on your couches.
We can't seem to stay awake while the sunlight through the windows tickle our cheeks.

You are the reason why many of us get sunburns.
Where we work hard to build fences around our equine paradise.
Where he sweat to mow the lawn and then laugh at the spray of a water house.

You are the reason why we are as happy as we are now.
And yet..
You just can't see that you are the first beating heart that has created many many more.
And you will still be the beating heart that creates the laughter in our hearts.

Happy Mother's Day Nanny!
I love you so much more than you think!

——

I know we haven't spoken much.
I know that for the longest time I didn't call you Nanny.
I know that in your heart, you took me in like one of your own blood kin.
I know that you love me.

You tease me about the golf cart accident.
You poke at me and laugh with me about stories from Bull Shoals.
You take the time to talk to me as my mind wanders and I can't help but spew out the thoughts that flow off my tongue.

I know I haven't always been the best granddaughter.
I know I haven't always been the greatest toy sharer.
I know that I haven't always been my best when I'm around you.

Yet, you still brought us towels when we stepped out of the hot tub.
You still made us food and gave us nourishment that would lead to another day of laughter and crying.
You still took care of me and the others.

No matter what sort of crying and screaming fit we gave you when we had to go to bed and leave the warm fire out on a cool night.
And for that, I have to thank you.
Thank you for the love you've given me.
Thank you for the warmth of a hug you've handed me.
Thank you...
For the memories I'll always tell stories of over and over again.

Happy Mother's Day Grandma!
I love you and I won't ever be able to stop!