The trumpets sounded as the 21 gun salute drew to a close. The tears were streaming from everyone who was in the crowd, but when I looked over at my mother, her eyes were dry and staring straight ahead at the flag covered casket.
Members of the Color Guard folded the flag and marched in sync towards our family.
By now any makeup that may have been on my face was in one of the many tissues next to me. The tears only came harder when the guard stopped in front of me, got down on one knee and handed me our nation's flag.
I held a small scream of pain inside of me as I accepted it. The colors seemed so bright compared to the grey sky and fresh rain.
Slowly the ceremony came to a close leaving just my mother and I to stand in front of the casket.
"I'm going to go check on the rest of the family. I'll let you have a moment to say goodbye."
I gulped and nodded as I felt her presence leave my side. Taking a step forward I ran my hand over the smooth wood.
"I'm going to miss you daddy." I rested my forehead against the smooth surface, it's cool wood soothing my heated face.
I could feel the tears streaming across my cheeks and pooling on the caskets top.
"You promised me you were coming home." I whispered, not caring that he could no longer hear me. "You promised me you wouldn't leave me here." My voice was slowly starting to raise. "You promised that no matter what, you would be here for me." By now I was almost shouting, my words began to string together. "What is Henry going to do now that he doesn't have a father? What are Grace and I going to do? And what about Mom? What is she going to do with out you? Who is going to be there for her now?" I gulped in air. "Why did you lie dad? Why?!" I banged my fist against the lid and began to sob.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to us, we were never supposed to be torn apart. Dad shouldn't have voluntered to go back on a fifth tour, he shouldn't have been on the base when the terrorists attacked. He shouldn't be here, lying in a cedar casket, about to be buried in the almost frozen earth. He didn't deserve it, he was only trying to protect his country, his family, only trying to make this world a better place. And for a reward he was given death. How is that fair? How is any of this fair?
He left a family behind, two daughters and a teenage son. What are we going to do without our dad?
I felt arms circle around me, holding me tight and looked up to see my sister and brother crying with me.
In that moment I realized that we would be okay, we may no longer have the love of our father, but we had each other, and we had his memory and the memory of what he did for this country. We are proud to call this man our father. And while the memories may not be the enough, we will be okay.
