Recovery isn't the flip of the blinds
and letting the light inside.
It isn't the flick of a switch,
things don't get better instantaneously.
What recovery really is,
is sifting though the sofa cushions
for crumbs of courage and dimes of hope.
Recovery is deliberately forgetting
these giant chunks of life,
these pieces of unwanted grasps
that you never asked for.
But no matter how much
you want the memories to evaporate,
you cling to them,
like dryer lint
to black polyester.
Once the ocean takes you under,
the struggle to get back
is more painful that the fall into it.
But recovery is also
sleeping in on Mondays
and staying up late on Fridays.
It is strawberry milk;
sloshing like happiness in your tummy,
the scent of cotton candy
washing through the air around you
to remind you of sweet things.
It is laughing so hard
you choke on your drink with a snort,
and it starts to drip out of your nose.
It is kisses that make your mind turn to honey,
slow,
unthinking,
warm and sweet
as you melt into this natural,
creamy mess of love
It is feeling full after eating dinner,
but getting dessert anyways,
because god fucking damn it,
you deserve that piece of
double decker chocolate pudding cake.
It is remembering late at night,
when you're trapped in tears
and thoughts of all those moments,
that feelings pass and tomorrow
is going to be better.
It is.
That's life.
It is full of good things
and bad things,
and you never really know
where you are going to end up
in the never ending
kaleidoscope in the cosmos.
But just because today
is a mixture of salt and water
and hushed sobs,
tomorrow is a fresh start
that could be snorting
strawberry milk up your nose
from laughing too hard.
Tomorrow
the kisses could feel even better than honey,
they could feel like forever.
- All That You Are Is All I'll Ever Need by blouneighborhood
