The Odds are Definitely Not in My Favor

Smoke: Chapter IV

Smoke - Chapter IV:

-----

Solanum fought to keep her breathing even, as she stood over her sister's vulnerable form.

The fight ended in seconds. Despite the weapons the Capitol had provided, Katniss was down before it even began.

Her stomach churned in discomfort as her sister valiantly tried to stand up despite the injuries Solanum wrought. It was-

It was such a pathetic sight, Solanum fought the urge to puke.

(She did this.)

She tried to keep the injuries minimal. The wounds looked much worse than it actually were, but-

(It wasn't supposed to be this way.)

Katniss wasn't supposed to volunteer. Prim wasn't - she wasn't even supposed to be picked damn it, considering the fact that Katniss and her made sure to minimize the risk of their youngest sister being chosen as much as they could - short of actually stowing away and leaving this country.

The thought of Prim being chosen in the first place didn't even cross Solanum's mind. She was more concerned about Katniss, since the dark-haired girl insisted with taking a tesserae every year, at least one, just in case their luck in hunting wouldn't hold, and had about 16 slips all in all.

(If Solanum was chosen- well, Solanum knew Katniss wouldn't speak up if she was ever reaped; and Solanum wouldn't even want Katniss to do so, if she ever was. Solanum knew Katniss valued Prim way too much to do that and someone needed to provide for their sister's needs.)

(Solanum couldn't. She wasn't all too right in the head, and she wasn't blind to the fact that she sometimes slipped and replied to the ghosts of her previous life. Their mother wasn't exactly the most reliable person for the job either, because even though Solanum loved the woman, even she could see her mother was cracked.)

(...It also wasn't a secret that Solanum was pretty much at the end of everyone's priorities.)

(Solanum's fine with that. Truly. It would absolutely break Prim if Katniss died, and Solanum already sacrificed too much for her family.)

(This- this wasn't even a problem to begin with.)

Clenching her hands tightly - her nails digging into her palms, Solanum hated.

(hated the Capitol, hated people for being fucking cowards and letting this go on for so long, she-)

(-she hated herself.)

(She didn't know she could hate herself more than she already did until her hands were stained - once again - of the blood of a person she swore she would protect, her sister at that, and a part of her - a small, convoluted, hopelessly petty part she couldn't quite squash - actually felt vindictively pleased at Katniss' pitiful state.)

(Solanum disgust herself sometimes.)

"Don't do this, Sol." Katniss whispered hoarsely, her voice pleading as she stood up, panting. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to -" Her voice broke as she begged. "Please. Just stop."

"I couldn't." Solanum smiled tightly, the expression settling on her face strangely. "I wouldn't even if I could. District 12 wouldn't win, Katniss." She paused. "Not with you as the tribute."

Solanum form blurred as she went to her sister's side to knock her out quickly - hoping to finish this as quickly as possible, but she faltered as she noticed how her sister shuddered in fright at her proximity.