Best of Women

Lin

"Well, that didn't go the way you thought, did it?" Rio asked me after Pippa had left. The apartment was deathly silent. I didn't answer my son; just paced the kitchen. How had I misjudged things so badly? Pippa didn't want to move in because she didn't think the kids would be comfortable with it. I felt we needed to make our relationship official; to show the kids we were committed to each other. Obviously, I was wrong.

I looked at the sparkling ring on the counter, still in its case instead of on Pippa's slim finger. I reached out and closed it, then tucked it in my back pocket again. I should've checked the jewelry store's return policy. Had I blown it completely with her?

All I wanted to do was mope in my room, so I ordered in pizza and did just that. I took a bubble bath and drank five beers. I was laying in bed, finishing off my sixth beer when there was a knock at my door. Momentarily, I wondered if it was Pippa, but then kicked myself for being so stupid. I'd texted and tried to call her multiple times but she was ignoring me.

"What?" I asked, somewhat shortly. Rio poked his head in the door.

"Dad?" he asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

He had such concern in his eyes. I motioned with my hand for him to join me. Rio climbed onto the bed with me and laid his head on my chest. I gently played with his slightly long hair.

"We need to take you for a haircut," I decided as we watched The Code together. Pippa was beautiful. His mom was always on top of things like hair cuts and dentist appointments. I sucked at it. We were just quiet for several minutes.

"Dad?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, bud?" I asked.

"What if you found out one of your kids was gay?" he asked. Well, that was a bit out of the blue.

"Why do you ask that?" I asked, still playing with his hair.

"I dunno," he said. I connected the dots. That's what he'd told Pippa the other day. What he couldn't tell me. God, I wish I was sober right now so I could say the right things.

"Well, I'd be perfectly fine with it," I told him honestly. "There's nothing wrong with it."

He was quiet for several more minutes.

"Are you gay, Rio?" I asked him finally. He didn't answer me. "If you are, that's fine, bud. You don't have to be scared to tell me."

"What if Sebastian makes fun of me? Or Eva?"

"Then I'll ground them until they're thirty," I said, and he laughed a little. "I really don't think they would. They'll accept you."

Rio seemed to relax a little more. I was glad he'd gotten that off his chest and out in the open. I wasn't going to spread the word. He could tell who he wanted in his own time. Society was a lot more accepting of homosexuality these days, but not everyone. It was his information to tell.

I rubbed Rio's back and I felt him fall asleep on me. After The Code was over, I sighed and turned off the TV. I gently moved Rio to lay down next to me. I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed next to him. My little guy. The fact that he was gay did worry me a little bit. There were still horrible people out there who might treat him differently; who might want to hurt him. As I watched his chest rise and fall, I felt more protective of him than ever. My youngest. I wanted to protect him from everything, but knew I couldn't.

___

That weekend was the loneliest weekend I'd had in a long time. Pippa still wouldn't answer my texts and calls. I'd really blown in. Thinking back, it was incredibly stupid of me to propose after only dating a couple months. Sure, we'd known each other for several years, but our relationship wasn't very fall along. She was right - we hadn't even said I love you yet.