Best of Women

Pippa

Two days later, I was released from the hospital. I walked slowly and Lin stood next to me, patiently beside me. He hailed us a cab and loaded Amalia with her car seat in. It took a good five minutes for him to figure out how to fasten the car seat in but he finally got it. He was out of practice.

The kids had decorated the apartment with a banner, balloons, and other decorations. I loved it. Lin helped me recline on the sofa so I could relax. There were many hands to take care of Amalia. She spent the next hour being passed around and cuddled. Paco and Amalia were introduced. The kids thought it was hilarious that Paco was technically her uncle.

Amalia was starting to fuss, so I fed her, then Lin took her to our bedroom for a nap. Lin had been singing Amalia to sleep at the hospital and I'm sure he'd continue it here at home. About ten minutes after taking her away, Lin returned and kissed the top of my head.

"Need anything?" he asked me gently and I shook my head. Carmen had gotten me a blanket and tea and we were all just hanging out in the living room. It felt so good to be home. I fell asleep in the chair, still recovering from childbirth and my hospital stay. Lin was so good about keeping up with everything else. He started laundry and cooked dinner.

I wasn't supposed to let shower water directly hit my surgical scar so I decided to take a nice hot bath. You wouldn't think it would, but any small amount of movement hurt. I didn't realize how much I used my abdominals. They'd given me pain meds but it still hurt.

Lin came in to check on me about fifteen minutes into my bath. I had realized I wasn't really capable of sitting up and washing myself. Lin patiently rolled up his sweater sleeves and picked up the washcloth. He gently guided my upper body forward and I whimpered as he gently worked the cloth up and down my back. The warm water and the gentle pressure of his hand was ecstasy.

"Lay back," he said, his voice low, and his hands help ease me back. He lovingly washed my legs, which were too painful to reach. I groaned as he moved me around a bit to help me wash my hair. I knew having a c-section wouldn't be a walk in the park but I didn't realize how painful it would be.

After he'd helped me out he guided me to sit propped up in bed. "When are you due for more pain meds?"

I looked at the clock. "Two hours."

"Is the pain bad?" he asked gently.

"Only when I'm moving or I touch it," I explained.

"Can I look?" he asked me and I nodded. He carefully pulled up my shirt to take a look at my surgical wound. "Doesn't look infected but it still looks raw."

Amalia began crying and I winced. Even moving my arms to breast feed her somehow hurt my abdomen. Lin kissed the top of my head and then went to go get our daughter.

"Do you want to try feeding or should I just make a bottle?"

"Can you make a bottle for now?" I asked him.

"Of course," he told me. "Now just relax."

I nodded and closed my eyes as he took away Amalia and the sound of her crying. I felt like I was being a bad mother because I wasn't able to do much for her right now. Lin was having to do anything. It made me cry.

Lin came back in about twenty minutes later without Amalia. I'm sure she was being passed around and held. He climbed onto the bed next to me, careful not to move the bed much. I was still sniffling a bit and wiped under my eyes with my fingers. He gently set a hand on my arm.

"Why are you crying?" he asked gently.

"I just feel like crap and I'm not doing anything for Amalia," I told him tearfully. "You're having to do everything and you're being so sweet and patient and I'm just a mess."

It all seemed to come out like vomit. Lin gently shooshed me and rubbed at my arm. "Hey. You carried Amalia for nine months. I'd say it's my turn to do some hard work. Plus, we've got a houseful of people who are more than willing to help. It's okay to take a break and recover."

I let out a bit of a relieved sob. I had a tendency to build problems up in my head. It felt good that he was telling me to chill out. He kissed my cheek.

"I just feel like I should be doing more, but it hurts to move."

"Your only job right now is to recover from surgery," he told me firmly. "It's not an insignificant little procedure you went through. Plus you labored for almost 18 hours before it happened. You're probably exhausted."

"I am," I admitted tearfully and he shooshed me again.

"Then you just lay down and sleep," he told me. "I'll take care of everything else. Trust me."

I knew I could count on Lin. Right now, he was my rock. Lin carefully, slowly helped me get under the covers and laid down. He asked if I needed anything before kissing my forehead and leaving me to rest. I fell almost immediately into a deep sleep.