𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐭

zero |

[i recommend listening to
'orlando' by 'XXXTENTACION']

zero - broken

new york city

h u n t e r

the problem with feeling broken is you actually feel lost.

you feel as though you've lost yourself, that's the true 'feeling' that swarms your body.
i say feeling, but do i really mean it?
no.

what feelings?

i don't even feel anything anymore. well not strong emotions. not love—passion.

i have my best friends, jayden and caleb. i do love them of course. we've been friends for 6 years now and they're the only people i trust, but i've learned to love them like family.

it's hard growing up being scared for your life, only to be left at age 16 to a world of car theft and robbery. although the thrill is quite extraordinary.

i've been living this lifestyle for 8 years now. not like i can just leave. not only am i stuck, but so are jayden and caleb. i'm the eldest and supposedly, the most responsible but that doesn't seem to impact the fact i haven't gotten us out of this life.

paying well, it's hard to think of what other jobs we'd want. there's times when you'd want any other job in the world, however the thrill of pulling off a heist is exhilarating.

the thrill and the money feels like it would be completely and utterly pointless to leave such a great career. right?
wrong.

the constant threats to yourself and the people you surround yourself with are too much to handle. they out-way the 'pros' in the this situation, if you will. the 'cons' are at a much higher ratio.

adventure is all fun and games until it becomes dangerous and you can't protect your family. jayden and caleb are my family now and i refuse to lose them, not another member; i just can't.

we stick together and get out of this life together.

i have plans to succeed, although it may not be so simple. it's like we're on a life contract—signed with our blood. we can't leave until dead.

but it'll change, it has to change for all of us.

—

<3