Heartbroken

Chapter 10: Mercy

            I swung my arms as I skipped out the door, Allegra hurrying to keep with my pace. I slowed down, enough for her to catch up, but not enough for her to realize. The steady beat of my feet on the pavement made me smile, and I continued to hurry on, my sister almost tripping over her own feet.

"Mercy," she panted, and I stopped, turning my head and cocking it to the side in an innocent manner. "We can't run the entire way to school," she reasoned, and I blinked.

"Who said we couldn't?" I took off again, smiling and changing the rhythm on the sidewalk as I skipped instead. I heard Allegra sigh before following suit, and despite her annoyance at the situation, she laughed. My ukulele was carefully nudged in the crook of my arm, but my backpack bounced against my back as I skipped, and with every bounce, my smile grew. Today was the school talent show, and I intended to show them that I could do something to be proud of. I reached the school faster than usual, and I sat down on the grass to wait for Allegra to catch up. I swung my bag around into my lap, struggling to unzip the old zipper.

A group of sixth-grade girls giggled past, wearing too much makeup for elementary school. They shot glances at me that felt like real bullets, and whispered to each other loudly enough for me to hear.

"Where does she get her clothes from?"

"She must've stolen them from a beggar."

"And her bag!"

"That ratty old piece of fabric is a bag? I would've never guessed!"

I ignored them. I may have a defect, but I can understand when people don't like me. Allegra doesn't like me to call myself a defect, but I can't help but think it. I'm not even that autistic, but you would be surprised at what society can lead you to believe. I glanced down at my backpack, the mean words about it wriggling into my thoughts.

This backpack belonged to my mom when she went to school. I fingered the faded teal fabric, it's sides threaded with gold sequins and beads, creating a pattern in the shape of a rose. Most of the decoration had fallen off, so the rose looked more like randomly placed beads. Only half of the zippers worked now, so I just used the front pocket. I didn't have many things to put in it anyway. I clutched the bag closer to my chest, just as Allegra sat down beside me.

"What did those girls say?" the question sounded more like a statement, though it didn't make me any more inclined to answer, and I stayed silent. "You know," she tried again. "You know that you can tell me what's going on..."

Then why don't you ever confide in me? I watched as she leaned back, favoring one arms. She always thinks that she can hide things from me, but even my own sister doesn't know how observant I can be. Allegra sits for another minute before pushing herself up, and pulling on her backpack while swatting grass off her clothes. She sighed and leaned down to kiss my head.

"I need to go. You'll have to walk home by yourself today because I have to stay after school. I'm sorry that I can't watch you play." she gestured to the ukulele. "Grandma would be proud." she smiled. "Make sure your teacher takes a video, yeah? I love you."

I watched her retreating back as she clutched her arm, a slight limp in her left leg. I moved my backpack out of the way and stood, making my way to my classroom.

The bell rang. My backpack was shoved underneath my desk, and I sat up straighter as Mrs. Follen walked into the room. She surveyed the room with sharp eyes and a cold heart, but I knew that on the inside she was nothing but a marshmallow covered in chocolate.