Heartbroken

Chapter 32: Allegra

N/A - I don't know why, but it won't let me enter gmails, so just know that those are emails. Enjoy!! :)

 "Flight 306 boarding," a female voice echoed through the hall, and I glanced out the floor to ceiling window, finding a plane pulled next to the building. I breathed shakily, finally facing the reality of my decision. I stood, and Milo and Mr. Chans stood with me. All I could hear was a ringing in my ears as I felt Mr. Chans arms around me. I nodded my head as he spoke, but didn't comprehend the words as my eyes fuzzed and my mind spiraled down into oblivion. I tried to steady my breathing, but even that was out of control. I finally managed to gather my thoughts as he let go, standing back.

"Thank you," I said, smiling as though I wasn't in panic. This was supposed to help me. I was leaving so I could gather my thoughts, to get away from everything, to ignore reality. And yet for some reason reality was the only thing that I could think about. Go figure.

"You have everything you need?" I had never seen Mr. Chans nervous, but he seemed to show some symptoms now. He held me a little longer than necessary, and though he tried to conceal it, his hands were shaking. I nodded.

"I'll email every week,"

He nodded. "Okay..." he stood there for a moment longer before turning slightly, glancing at his son. "I'll go wait in the car. See you in a year," he attempted a smile and left. The pit in my stomach grew as he walked away. See you in a year. Milo shuffled his feet, running a hand through his hair. It brought my attention back to him, and for once I let myself stare. I looked at his dark hair, his nimble fingers and long legs, the way he stood, the casual tilt of his head to the ground as he tried to find purchase of what to say. My lips quirked to the side without me telling them to, and finally I caught his eyes. Oh Jupiter his eyes. They were a fountain of chocolate, rich and warm, invitingly sweet and pleasant. I could stare for years. But I would miss one, I realized painfully.

Milo cleared his throat, and I noticed that we had been staring at each other for awhile. I felt my heart thump.

"See you next summer?" Milo uncomfortably held his hand out, as if he wanted me to shake it. He was nervous and hurt. I had done that to him. My heart squeezed painfully as he let his hand fall to the side, his face showing even more painful emotion now that he thought I had rejected it. Unable to take it any longer, I let go of my luggage and stood on my toes, hugging him around the neck. I leaned into him, memorizing the way it felt to have his arms around me, and his heart so close to mine.

"Next summer," I whispered. "I'll make it up to you." I could feel him nod into my shoulder. I pulled back, reluctantly, just enough for me to see his face. Tears stood unshed in his eyes, and he blinked rapidly and looked to the window. His arms left my back and the warmth lingered only a few moments. How long could I go without it?

"I'm sorry," I choked out, watching as he tried to act okay.

"It's fine, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is!" I tried not to act hysterical but my voice went shrill. "How is it not my fault?"

"Because I'm supposed to be okay with you leaving. I'm supposed to not care. It's my fault that I can't stop thinking about you!"

I pursed my lips, unconsciously judging why he would say what he just said. I didn't want to get my hopes up.

"Well, in any case, I'll only be a couple hundred miles away,"

"553.7"

My mouth opened slightly. He cared. Another voice announced the ending of boarding the plane. I had to go. With a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I grabbed my luggage and turned to leave before I said something pathetic. But I changed my mind and turned, kissing Milo lightly on the cheek. He seemed to be frozen as I watched him fondly before handing the flight attendant my ticket, and disappearing around the corner.