Save the hero

16

{Depression}
{noun}
{Feelings of severe despondency and dejection.}

Red pov

"Anything else I can get for y'all?" I asked this group of guys before I went back to cleaning glasses.

"Just a piece of you sweetness." One of them said and I scrunched up my face.

"Bi-" i quickly shut my mouth knowing I was about to snap on him but I needed this job to pay my bills so I walked away with my hands squeezed into fists.

Leo is currently in Australia shooting for some movie and I was getting really lonely in his condo alone so I moved into a new apartment well Ashanti moved me into a new apartment so now I live alone. It's hella boring so she brought me a little gold fish to keep me company. I named him Cheese but I accidentally feed him Salt instead of fish food and he died. But I don't want to hurt her feelings so I just have a dead fish in the tank.

Anyway it's been what 3 months since I've seen Amanda. And I feel like my life is slowly going to shit again. I can't even pretend like I'm ok, i haven't slept in days and I can barely hold any food down. I feel like shit and everything hurts all the time, especially my heart. I can't help but feel stupid for even exposing myself to her. I should have known not to especially with my record of losing people I loved. The only reason I come to work at this stupid bar everyday is because I don't want to be put out my apartment.

"Red come help me make all these drinks." Jada said and I put the glass I was washing down and went to aid her in mixing drinks for the group of people who just showed up.

Jada was honestly a bitch to me, i hate her. Everything she does irritates me and I wish she would just die.

"Let me get uh, three shots of the strongest liquor you got." I was in the middle of mixing a sex on the beach when I got another request so I wasn't paying attention to who was talking.

"Yea just give me a second." I said trying to concentrate on making this drink. I'm not even gonna lie I'm pretty sure i made it wrong but shit who cares, half these people just drink bastards anyway.

"Maria." My head popped up and I instantly walked to the other side of the bar.

I felt anxious all the sudden and i thought I was about to cry. "Hey you ok?" Jada asked me as I dropped a glass and it broke.

"N-Yes I'm fine." I said going to pick up the broken glass.

"No it's ok, why don't you get out of here I'll clean this up." I looked at her and she smiled. I hesitantly nodded and took off my apron squeezed it in my hand tightly while my other hand started to pull the band out my hair. I let it fall in my face and wherever else it landed. I started walking out of the building but somebody grabbed my arm.

"No Amanda." I said knowing exactly who it was.

"Please, I miss you so much." She begged and I stopped and covered my face. I was crying and I didn't want her to see the affect she still had on me.

"You know damn well you don't miss me. If you did you would have at least answered my calls but oh wait I forgot you blocked me. You don't give a fuck about me, and don't even try to lie and say you do because you never fucking did." I ranted using my shirt to wipe my face. I'm really starting to hate how she just comes around and makes me feel these things.

"I'm so sorry, i promise I am. I swear I never meant to hurt you." She said pulling me into a hug i melted into it but then I pushed her away because I was still mad.

"So what breaking my heart was just a accident. I told you everybody i have ever loved turned on me and walked out my life. You fucking knew that, you know damn near everything a bout me. I wish I could say the same but you don't like to tell me shit. What happened to we confide in eachother?"

"Maria, I'm sorry, I-I it's hard for me to talk about my past." She stuttered with tears sliding down her face. She was one of the ugliest criers I've ever seen.

"How you think I felt Amanda? I don't just go shouting this shit from the rooftops. I told you because I trusted you to actually be there for me and not leave me in the dust like everybody else. And you fucked that up." It felt good to be getting some of this stuff of my chest. I wiped my face and turned to walk away.

"I grew up in foster care." I heard her say loudly behind me and I stopped and turned around.

"What are you doi-" "My Mom died while giving birth to me and I had no other family to take me in so I was sent to foster care." She put her head down and I could see her start to shake a little.

"I bounced around from family to family but nobody really wanted me. Until I turned 6 and this couple adopted me. They already had 2 other adopted children Henry and Monica. Both of them older Henry was 16 and Monica 8. Me and Monica became friends quickly,Henry he uhm." She paused and put both her hands to her face. "He would do anything and everything to make me cry, but when I would tell them they would just laugh in my face and beat me for snitching." I heard her sniffles and my heart softened. I know I'm supposed to be mad at her but I hate seeing her cry. I swallowed my anger and pulled her into my arms. She rested her head on top of mines and I listened to her loud heart beat while holding her.

I'm not sure what this means for us but I wouldn't mind working things out with her.

Thoughts on Amanda?
Thoughts on Red?
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