Ask Miyoko! (An RIFT Q and A)

People of Influence: Part 1, Goblin Slayer

Hi everyone! Miyoko here! So Mr. Qrow wants us as part of our daily assignments in school to go to the various worlds that are connected through the dimensional shuttles and interview anybody who might be of great influence in the certain worlds.  Thing is.. some of these worlds aren't AWARE of our world yet.. so it's sort of practice for when Fairy Tail sends us out to scout worlds for being  MADE aware of us and then allowed into the whole Multiverse Alliance thing..

So.. I decided, why not make this more fun? And I'm adding it to my blog. So today I went to another world which is all magic and everything.. it's got the basics of your typical fantasy RPG realm... dragons, mages, warriors, goblins... oh.. and speaking of goblins.. I think I found this one guy in the local adventure guild in town (yeah, not magic, but adventure I guess.. yay..) who the lady at the counter for the jobs board said was a SUPER pro..

He looks pretty Dark Soulsy.. I mean he's got on this full dirty armor, never takes off his helmet and has a real obsession for killing things... yep.. totally Dark Souls.. So sir.. what is your name?

Goblin Slayer: "Goblin Slayer.."

Me: ".... er... I mean.. your actual name."

Goblin Slayer: ".... I am called Goblin Slayer."

Me: "... uh... okay.. I mean your REAL name not an alias."

Goblin Slayer: "..... I am Goblin Slayer."

Me: "So wait.. you're telling me.. your parents somehow PREDICTED you'd grow up to slay goblins and so they literally named you... Goblin Slayer..?"

Goblin Slayer: ".... no..."

Me: "So.. then... WHAT WAS YOUR NAME BEFORE YOU WERE CALLED GOBLIN SLAYER!?"

Goblin Slayer: ".... I am called Goblin Slayer.."

Caulifla: "Er... Miyo... maybe we should try somebody else.. this.. guy is kinda creepy."

Me: "Only because he's a PROFESSIONAL!"

Tatsu: "This isn't Witcher Miyoko.."

High Elf Archer: "Why don't you ask me questions too young girl? *winks* Orcbolg (elven for goblin slayer) may seem like a stoic, but he's got plenty of good points! As a member of his party, I can give you some info! Right Orcbolg?"

Goblin Slayer: "... okay.."

Me: "Okay.. so.. what's your name?"

High Elf Archer: "I am known as a High Elf Archer!"

Me: "Yeah.. but what's your NAME?"

High Elf Archer: hmmm.... just.. call me High Elf Archer.."

Me:  "Okay.. tell me.. how many other archers are there among the high elves?"

High Elf Archer: "Plenty!"

Me: "And do you ALL call each other 'High Elf Archer'?"

High Elf Archer: "of course not! We have names, it would be hard to tell each other apart otherwise!!"

Me: "Okay.. so what do the other archers call YOU!?"

High Elf Archer: "..... just... call me High Elf Archer.."

Caulifla: "OH MY GOOOOD! WHAT THE HELL!? This CANNOT be a trend!? HEY YOU!! RANDOM GUY!!! WHAT'S YOUR NAME!?"

Random Adventurer: "I am called Random Passerby with Sword And Shield M'lady."

Tatsu: *whispers* "Miyoko this place is scaring me.."

Me: "Ooookay.. er.. back to the interview. Goblin Slayer sir.. so your profession is to slay goblins.. ? How do you do it? Do you just go in and cut em up? Is there some professional way to do it? Bait?"

Goblin Slayer: "various ways... Water Boarding, Poison.. Burning,  Castration... Fisting, throat cutting, Inflating till they explode, nails through each finger one by one, disembowling.."

Tatsu: *grabs pail and throws up into it*

Me: "U-UH! NEVERMIND no need to go into detail! J.. Jeez.. okay.. ehem.  So... after a long day of slaying goblins.. what do you usually do?"

Goblin Slayer: "I look for goblins.. and slay them.."

Me: "er.. right.. annnnd? Anything that doesn't involve goblins?"

Goblin Slayer: "I go home.."

Me: "aaaaannnd?"

Goblin Slayer: "I check for Goblin tracks.. "

Me: "..... anything.. that.. DOESN'T involve Goblins? Again?"

Goblin Slayer: "...."

High Elf Archer: "Come on Orcbolg.. she means like.. don't you kill any bad guys? Like the demons we sometimes come across?"

Caulifla: "Yeah! Like.. do ya play hop scotch or somethin'?"

Goblin Slayer: "hop scotch... is that a kind of goblin?"

Me: "yeeeeeah.. okay, something tells me this is as far as we're going to get with this interview.."

Super Villain from another world: *bursts through door on a gargoyle shaped glider vehicle* "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YES!! IT IS I.. THE GREEN GOBLIN!!! WHERE IS SPIDER-MAN!?"

Me: "TATSU! Did you leave the dimensional gateway open again!? dang.. knew we should've used the shuttle instead of the Hall of Worlds in the Guild.."

Tatsu: "Sorry!! Eheheh.. er.. hopefully he's the only weirdo that made it through.."

Goblin Slayer: "Green... Goblin..?"

Green Goblin: "INDEED!! I am the Green Goblin!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! One sworn to cause as much chaos as possible!! HAHAHAHAHAHA"

Goblin Slayer: *draws sword* Goblin... slay... Goblin.."

Me: "Oh.. wait.. that's not a goblin actually.. it's actually a guy dressed as a-.."

Goblin Slayer: *charges in and starts dishing out the pain*

Green Goblin: "Wait.. who are.. wait.. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! WHAT THE!? NOT THE ARM.. NOT THE ARM!!!"

Caulifla: *covered Miyoko's eyes with a hand* "Lets.. er.. leave.."

Me: "Yep.."