Save Yourself [Soukoku]

12:Bleed For Me

Remember the plan. Got it. Atsushi nods and goes off to get Kyoka and tell her what was said.

Chuuya looks at Dazai, slightly confused, but he doesn't say anything yet. He doesn't need to. His eyes show his confusion.

“You need to get ready to go back.” Dazai says without looking at Chuuya as he gathers things, putting them in a bag.

Chuuya doesn't do anything, however, ending up completely silent. He doesn't say anything, but he only vaguely rotates his sprained ankle slightly as if testing it. Even if he's just stalling for time.

“Chuuya Nakahara.” Something is in Dazai’s voice as he says this. “Now isn't the time to stall. I'm being  serious, you need to get ready. Kyoka will be the one taking you home.”

The smaller man hesitated for a moment, taking an almost shaky breath in. “... don't wanna…” he mutters to himself. He did make an attempt to stand on his injured ankle, only to not be able to put too much pressure on it without it feeling like the bones were pressing together and it still hurt. “-!!”

Dazai is completely avoiding looking  at Chuuya as he hands him some crutches. “It's most likely broken, so you'll need to go straight to the hospital when you get home.” With that, Dazai walks out of the room.

Chuuya makes the attempt to use the crutches, managing to use them enough to move around a bit. But in the end, after packing about 2 things, he ends up not being able to stand too steady because he really doesn't want to lose it. He closed his eyes tightly when he notices his vision blurring and his body shivering slightly. His breathing hitches slightly, but he will not break down… he doesn't want to, at least.

Dazai is waiting by the elevator for Chuuya, lightly humming the same song he has since 15. He had left the letter on a table by the door.

The smaller man ends up finding the letter after opening his eyes and collecting himself. He picks the letter and reads it. His reaction is one of fear, and yet, he can't just leave. He refuses to just leave. Thinking of this, added to the tiredness from not resting properly had cursed him to almost fall again, eliciting more cussing from his lips. Even if Dazai won't let him keep that promise, he will still try.

Dazai walks back  to the room to check on Chuuya. When he speaks, there's an urgency in his voice. “Nakahara, come on, we don't have all day maybe 2 at the most. But I need to get you home in like 6 hours.” He only called Chuuya “Nakahara” when he was trying  to distance himself from him.

Chuuya didn't like that. Not at all. His hair had covered his eyes a moment later. “I can't… I can't do that again.. last time, the whole damn time, I-... I couldn't find a reason to even move. It-... you got to be f*cking greedy, so why the hell can't I?!” He had fallen back onto the bed, sitting now. He doesn't look up, but he's shaking and it's obvious that tears are falling.

Dazai's voice cracks as he speaks. “Because I don't want you anymore  involved then you already are. You can still go back and live a normal life like before I even came back into your life again and turned it  upside down. Please, Chuuya, you need to go back for me.. please.” the last word is barely above a whisper.

“I'm f*cking tired of this sh*t!” That was unintentionally harsh as if he meant to not say it at all, and he had cut off Dazai's plea. But at this point, he can't help stating how he felt anymore. It was boiling over. “It's not that f*cking simple! That life can't ever go back to being f*cking normal! I was dead inside! There was no actual reason to live… they said there was, but I didn't want to stay there. Why the hell else would I go out of my way and go to a bar in a different city…? It's impossible to f*cking forget you! Hell, last time I tried to live without you, I ended up almost starving to f*cking death because I-... if I'm living a life like that, I might as well be dead.” He finally quiets down at the end.