Hey Arnold! in the Movies - Arnold and Helga Meet a FAMOUS Director

Chapter 2

Grandpa and Gil sat across from one another at the kitchen table in Sunset Arms. Arnold stood beside Grandpa for encouragement.

"I must say, I was a little surprised when you called me so early," began Gil. "But I'm happy you decided to come around on letting me film here. Why the change of heart?"

"Oh, you know...what can I say? Sometimes I'm just a big ol' softy like that," said Grandpa. "Besides, how could I say no to Arnold and his little friends? Apparently they eat this stuff up!" He ruffled Arnold's head for emphasis.

Gil chuckled. "Right. So you said there was something you wanted to tell me in person?"

"Yeah...I'll let you create your movie here on ONE condition: you have to live here for the duration of the filming."

"What? That's it? Heck yeah, I'll move back in! Living under these walls again are bound to inspire some great ideas!"

"Uh-huh. And of course you'll be paying rent while you're here, and then there's the deposit..."

"Done and done!" exclaimed Gil. "Heck, I'll even tack a few extra dollars on top so you can spruce the place up when we've wrapped."

"Sounds wonderful," said Grandpa. "All you have to do is sign the tenant agreement and you'll be good to go..."

Grandpa slid a piece a paper across the table toward Gil, who eagerly took the pen from Grandpa's hand and proceeded to sign without reading. "Incredible! I gotta tell ya, Phil – I was worried about coming over here again. I didn't think we'd see eye to eye, but I'm glad we could find some common ground and work this out."

Grandpa clasped his fingers together, his elbows on the table. "So am I," he said ominously.

Gil handed Grandpa back his pen and the tenant agreement, then walked over to shake his hand vigorously. "Thank you! I promise you won't regret this!" he said before exiting the boarding house.

"I'm proud of you, Grandpa," Arnold said. "I think the movie will help out the boarding house and the rest of the neighborhood. This might even be good for all of Hillwood!"

"Yes, we're running a veritable Hillywood studios, here, Shortman," Grandpa said, then started laughing sinisterly.

"Uh...Grandpa? Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, I just had to clear my throat," reasoned Grandpa. "Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to watch my stories."

He grabbed the tenant agreement and the pen and scuttled out of the room before Arnold could get suspicious.

---

"Okay, everyone! Quiet on the set!"

Day 1 of filming was underway, and the hallway of the second floor of Sunset Arms was transformed into a closed set. The boarders, Arnold, and his friends stood in the background and witnessed movie magic being made. Lola the actress and her famous male lead Maurice (of The Abdicator fame) were getting their makeup done as the camera crew set everything up for the first scene.

"Okay, Lola, now remember your motivation," Gil said to Lola as she glanced over the script. "You are the attractive, lonely landlord of this haunted estate. The hero suspects you are keeping a dark secret from him, but you refuse to cooperate, and are using your feminine wiles to seduce him into staying longer than necessary."

"Right," said the curvaceous brunette as she stood from the makeup chair and prepared for her scene.

"Hey, can I put on a British accent?" asked Maurice (who naturally sported a thick Eastern European accent).

"Wonderful idea!" said Gil. "Let's film this scene, and afterwards we'll see if the footage is taking us in that direction. Alright? Places, people! Lights, camera, action!"

Lola went for her mark and faced the male lead.

"I don't like this place," said Maurice. "I can't stay here. There's something in the air that makes it feel sinister. Almost....evil."

Lola put her hands around Maurice's chest and looked at him with big doe eyes. "Oh but you can't go!" she pleaded. "I need you here! You must help me solve the mystery of my missing father. If you do, I'll be forever in your debt."

The camera zoomed in to the pivotal scene where tension – or something resembling tension – was to appear between the two leads, and held there for several seconds as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Cut!" cried a voice over the scene.

"Cut?! Who yelled cut?!" said Gil indignantly. "Only I'm allowed to say 'cut'!"

"I did!" said Grandpa. "And for your information, there are now two people in this house with directorial privileges!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Read 'em and weep, Gil!" said Grandpa, pulling the tenant agreement from his back pocket and holding it to Gil's face. "Or rather, don't read 'em and weep! You were never one for the finer details, and now it will cost you!"

Gil grabbed the tenant agreement from Grandpa's hand and scanned it quickly. "'As tenant of Sunset Arms, you are heretofor obligated to...yadda yadda...monthly obligation of rent....et cetera et cetera....as tenant of this unit you are obligated to submit to the whims  and fancy of the lessor indefinitely and in perpetuity within the entire universe'...WHAT?!"

"That's right, Gil!" so long as you're living under this roof, you gotta listen to me! That means your movie is now my movie as well. Hope you're willing to share that directorial credit!"

Realizing he'd been duped, Gil rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced. "Guess you really got me there, huh, Phil? No matter – I can still make this work."

"Just a minute!" said Grandpa. "As co-director of this schlock-fest, I'm permitted to suggest a few changes to the script."

Gil gritted his teeth. "Alright – what did you want to change?"

"Hmm..." Grandpa pondered for a moment, then snapped his finger and pointed at Maurice. "You! I want you to try out that British accent you were asking about earlier!"

Maurice looked excited, meanwhile Gil looked like he might be sick. Everyone got into position to refilm the scene.

"Blimey! don't like this place....what-what?" said Maurice, affecting a horrible mangling of the British accent. Lola cringed throughout the entire awkward scene, unable to get back into character.

"And cut..." said Gil, disheartened.

Grandpa clapped his hands vigorously. "Brilliant! Bravo! Encore! Okay, that's one scene down, we don't need to reshoot that again. Let's move on!"

Maurice nodded enthusiastically while Gil leaned back in his director chair in resignation.

"What have I done...?"