Sometimes We Fall... (Brustoff)

9. And what am I supposed to do now? I've reached the end...

Hey guuuys :) 
Damn, we're close to the last chapter :O Crazy ^^ 
Thanks to everyone who made it so far :) Much love. 

IMPORTANT: I quoted a few things from the Livestream Ben did, to announce that they parted ways with Denis. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN3DD90gBNA

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT: Y'all listend to Memphis May Fires brand new record 'Broken'? NO!? THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE??! Go and listen to it!! :) And then you can come back ;) 

Okay I talked enough ;) Enjoy reading :) ♥

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9. And what am I supposed to do now? I've reached the end...

Sam showed up next to Denis and patted his back. Denis tried not to flinch away at his hardest. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and escaped Sam's touch by taking a step forward. Sam bit his lip: "Sorry I..."
Denis nodded: "It's okay."
It was. He was just still not comfortable with anyone touching him. Not really. At least he didn't have to hide from his friends anymore. He didn't know how he felt about the others knowing about his "puke out" problem. It was easier now, but he felt terrible about the others worrying about him constantly. He couldn't deal with it. It ate him alive seeing the others constantly concerned.
"You ate something?"
Denis nodded. Ben did a little research and found some advices. Denis couldn't eat a, lot but it worked for the show. He had to start slowly and he still felt miserable after eating or drinking, but with Ben's help he managed to hold it in. Ben, Cameron, James and Sam supported him however they could. They were there for him, they didn't bother caring about him. Three days, Denis always said to himself, just three more days and the nightmare is going to end. He really didn't like that kind of attention. He appreciated all the help and support, but he couldn't handle the fact that they really wasted their time on him. He tried to ban this though over and over again, but it always came back. He may felt better again on stage, but he still was fake. And he still lied over and over again. And he still felt terrible about it. Basically... nothing had changed. He still threw up sometimes. He never told Ben. He couldn't stand the disappointment, that he would probably see. Coward!
"Ready for the show?", Denis turned around to face a shyly smiling Ben. Denis sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Exactly like he had done before the last two shows.
"It's the last show..."
Denis nodded.
"Time flies, huh?"
The black haired nodded again. Ben's face turned serious, and he made Denis look at him by turning the Ukrainian's head in the right direction: "Listen Denis... I wanted to say that... after the tour... I mean... I want to... I wanted to say..."
"Guuuuuuys! We need to hurry! Get your asses over here!"
Denis followed James' order, but he was held back by Ben.
"I'm here for you. Whenever you need me, I will be there. I don't want to let you down again. I don't want to lose you, Denis."
Denis smiled slightly and nodded, before he turned around and joined the others. You won't lose me Ben. I promise. Even if I can't understand.

The airport was noisy and busy. Denis liked the noise. It kept him away from his own thoughts. I don't want to lose you. Ben seemed all serious about this. He really did. Ben seemed to actually care. The worst part about it was that Denis started to feel good about that. He wanted to slap himself for that, but he liked that Ben cared. He liked how Ben was by his side in the right moment, right then when Denis needed it the most. Denis liked that Ben knew exactly when it was okay to touch him and when it was not. It was like Ben could "read" Denis now. He knew exactly what to do in every single moment.
"You're not worth his attention."
I know.
But Denis couldn't do anything about it, so he decided to enjoy Ben being around him, until he would realize that Denis was a waste of time. Denis hoped, that this moment would never come.