I was dared to love you

Chapter 4

The rest of the train journey was spent in anxious peace.
After my panic attack I'd moved to a different compartment and placed an enchantment on the door that didn't unlock to anything but the caster's Alohomora, hoping that no one would find it weird that one of the most sought after girls at hogwarts was quietly and intently staring out the train window, muttering to herself. Looking back on it I'm pretty sure I looked absolutely fucking mental, but I was 17. I was broody.

The train arrived at the platform around 3 hours later, the sun just setting beyond the horizon. I was fatigued from the long day of traveling, but I was too excited to nap in the carriages. I had friends to catch up with. Well, I wouldn't call them friends. They were more like people who hung around me hoping I'd notice them. The only true friend I had was Lily Evans, and that was a difficult relationship anyway. Lily and James had been together for a few months now, and yet James was still pining after her just like he had been since we were 11.
I hated James, but he was kind to Lily and I appreciated that. He looked at her like the fool in love that he was, his eyes all starry with admiration. I longed for a love like that, but all I received was lust.
I wasn't jealous of Lily's relationship with James, but I was jealous of her ability to be loved by everyone who met her. She was loved for who she was, and she wasn't bad looking either. I was 'loved' for being aesthetically pleasing, gorgeous even. I hated not being loved for ME, and there was so much me I wanted to show.

"Skylar!"

I turned around, smiling at Lily as she came bolting towards me, knocking me back into the nearby wall and wrapping around me like a monkey on a tree.
God I had missed her.

"I missed you, freckles."

Me and lily had clicked instantly, and even though I was a slytherin, we got on like a house on fire from the minute we met on the train.
And although we were very different people, we were both muggleborn, that we connected over. I was Lily's protector against racist abuse hurled by both half and pure bloods. It was a stupid thing that everyone was divided by blood. I believe it's different now, but that was one of the main issues back when I attended hogwarts. Blood.

Lily unwrapped herself from me and wrapped her arms around my waist, smiling up at me and licking my nose playfully. It made me squeal, pushing her away and accidentally making her stumble.

"Oh lily! Sor-"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, I DONT HAVE ANY QUALMS ABOUT HITTING GIRLS WHO DESERVE IT!"

I looked up with anger and shock in my eyes, my mouth curled into a snarl as James Potter, the infamous fucking James Potter, stormed over to us, with his little gang at his heels.

"James man, calm down-" Remus muttered, touching his arm gently whilst Sirius tried to wrestle the wand from his hand.

"She didn't mean to man!"

Sirius was sticking up for me?

"SHE STILL FUCKING-"

"NO! IF YOU LAY A HAND ON HER DONT THINK I WONT FUCK YOU UP,MATE."

Lily rushed over to me and buried her head in my neck, holding onto me tightly for comfort. I could hardly process what was happening. Sirius Black was standing up for me, on the verge of a very physical fight with his best friend...for me?
James seemed to calm down at Sirius's words, either from the threat of being beaten up, or seeing that I wasn't any real threat to his dearest, seeing as she was holding onto me like her life depended on it.
James sudden violence scared her. Hell it scared me. But all I could focus on was Sirius.

Sirius looked back at me with an understanding gaze, fists clenching and unclenching and breathing heavily. James wand was in his hand, but he dropped it back into James palm after he had calmed down. Students and teachers were gathering and around the scene, giggling and gasping. Some ravenclaw shouted "YOU SHOULD'VE LET HIM." And a small crowd of people laughed. It didn't bother me. I just needed to get away.

I unwrapped lily from my body, pushing her lightly towards a group of her gryffindor friends and making my exit, sighing lightly. What was I supposed to do now? Thank Sirius? No way. I'd thank him in private if that's what he wanted, but for now I wasn't going to let my facade down.
I was also thoroughly pissed and needed to calm down.

I needed a cigarette.