Amanda's murder a #dark Simanda story

Chapter 6: After a while / how?

Simon's POV:

I sighed in relief when after a while a doctor finally came to talk to me and he told me that luckily Amanda's C-section had went very well and i faintly smiled at the doctor but my smile immidiately faded when i didn't see him holding mine and Amanda's beautifull babies.

Our oh so wanted and oh so loved twins.

''Where are they?''

''Where are the twins?'' I asked the doctor with a very panicked look on my face while i almost began to hyperventilate.

''I'm so sorry mr.Cowell..'' The doctor said with a very serious look on his face but before he could even possibly finish his sentence i quickly interrupted him by asking:

''Oh god you're sorry for what?''

The twins died didn't they?'' I very heavily panicked while i felt a massive headache coming up and my breathing became so fast / rapidly that it could easily have beaten the fastest race car in the entire world.

''No mr.Cowell the twins didn't die but a nurse took them to the NICU for observation.'' The doctor explained and i looked at him in confusion.

''What's the NICU?'' i quickly asked.

''NICU is the short term for the NeoNatal Intensive Care Unit that's a unit where prematurely born babies are monitored very closely etc.'' The doctor explained

I just nodded before i asked:

''Are the twins boys or girls?''

''You have one daughter and one son.'' The doctor said while he faintly smiled at me.

It was that kind of a faint smile that people give you after a huge loss in your life like they understand how you feel but nobody truly understands how you feel.

I mean at times i don't even know how i truly feel like one minute i'm really  sad and the next minute i'm smiling about a memory and the minute after that i will feel really pissed and also it  feels like strangely enough nothing has really  changed somehow. 

But let's  get back to talking about mine and Amanda's beautifull twins.

"Nathan and Nathalie." I said to the doctor who told me that a nurse would take me to the NICU soon.

"Those are beautifull  names for two beautifull  children  mr.Cowell." The doctor said smiling.

"Thank you doctor i want to name the  twins Nathan and Nathalie because Amanda has always...." I said before my tears cutted off my sentence like you would cut an old branch from a tree.

Or to say it in simpeler terms i broke down crying once again.

The doctor just placed his hand onto my shoulder and let me cry it all out.

my tears felt like a raging sea that was bashing against a locked door and i know that sounds like a weird expression but it's just how i felt and still feel at the moment.