Amanda's murder a #dark Simanda story

Chapter 4:My heart / heaven on earth

Simon's POV:

When the ambulance had almost  finally  reached the hospital it suddenly started to dawn on me.

Not only was i about to lose Amanda for the second time in  my life but i was also about too become a dad again for the fourth time in my life.

Actually i should say that i'm about to become a dad for the second time in my life but i prefer to say that i'm about to become a dad for the fourth time in my life because i  don't see Hollie and Lexi as my stephdaughters.

I see them as my daughters.

My beautifull  strong (steph)daughters who now will forever have to live without their amazing mother thanks to that coldhearted swine their real dad who's called Chris.

I'll probably hate Chris for the rest of my life because he not only has robbed me of my Mandy but he has also robbed all of our children and stephchildren from their mum / stephmum. 

''Oh god i still need to tell them .'' I muttered while tears sprung into my eyes again.

''Tell what to who mr.Cowell?'' A paramedic asked

''I still need to tell my (steph) daughters and my son that their mum / (steph) mum is gone. '' I answered softly while my gaze was fixated on the portable ultrasoundmonitor that Amanda was hooked onto so that the paramedics could keep an eye on mine and Amanda's so wanted and loved legacy:

Our unborn twins who still don't have a clue who their mum is and what happened to her and why.

What the hell i don't even know why.

I mean i would understand  his anger if he and Amanda still would have been married but they   are / were bloody divorced when Amanda got pregnant with our twins.

They are our twins and their not his twins

And i understand his anger even less because they allready had lost a son together a little boy called Theo.

Please don't get me wrong i absolutely don't judge about their loss because as much as i may be a judge at work because that still is my job i absolutely don't judge people in  their personal lives

But what i meant was that  i know how heartbroken they both were by Theo's loss and so was i.

And why you may ask?

Because i know how horrible it feels to lose a baby together with someone that you love.

Sinittia and i have lost a baby together years ago due to abortion because sadly she couldn't carry our baby to full term.

And that's maybe one of the reasons that Amanda and i also worked so well together as a couple.  

Because we both shared the silent and heartbreaking bond of both losing our beloved children together with our other halfs.

It's an undescribeable loss that will always be a part of you.

A very painfull but true part.