Cracks Within

Chapter 6

Tuesday 9th October 2040.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of my kids running down the stairs, arguing over what pizza they want. They take the phone and I look down at my watch. 7.45pm. My eyes are heavy and I barely notice when the pizza man arrives. I tell Mike that he can just take money out of my bag and we eat. Hearing Mike and Izzy chat away, talking about anything and everything makes me grin. After eating, they run back upstairs and I decide to follow, exhausted from a hectic day. I slide into bed and I sleep a dreamless sleep.

Wednesday 10th October 2040.

I wake up and a feeling of happiness washes over me. No nightmares, no waking up in the night. Just a dreamless, peaceful sleep. And a dog lying on my chest. No lectures, no meetings, no work. One day of pure relaxation while everyone's out of the house. I reach for my phone as I move Harvey onto Jon's side of the bed, and roll over to face the window. Jon left the curtains closed. Cute. It takes me four attempts to unlock my phone, my eyes feeling heavy from just waking up. It was only 9.30am. I slept for nearly twelve hours. A text from Jon pops up. I wonder why he's text me, I think. I open the message.

Jon: Morning beautiful. I didn't wanna wake you up, you looked so peaceful. Don't worry, no one's dead. Izzy is going to be home about 8ish and Mike is having dinner at one of his friends' houses so he'll be back about 8.30. I'll be home about 9. I haven't fed Harvey yet, be warned he may come and sleep by you. I love you, have a good day. X

A smile creeps across my face. I put the phone back on my night stand and find the remote from the side of the bed. I turn the television on and watch some couple argue about cheating accusations. My attention is quickly grabbed by Harvey, who had decided that I'm his cushion. We sit together for nearly an hour until I couldn't hold the bathroom off any longer. I have a long, hot, steamy bath and read my book for the best part of an hour before getting changed into comfy joggers and an oversized t-shirt. I patter downstairs to see what I could eat and to feed Harvey. I heat up some tomato soup and carry on reading Blood in the Snow. Ever since I purchased it two days ago, during our weekly shop, I haven't been able to put it down. It's about a man who loses his girlfriend, presumed dead by a car accident. However, the man doesn't believe that everything is what it seems. So far, I am up to chapter 17, with 13 more chapters to go.

I look at the clock that is hanging above a canvas of Jon and I on our wedding day. 2.06pm, crap! The dog needs walking, I think frantically. I spring from the sofa, flinging cushions everywhere as I run to the back door looking for the converse I wear for taking Harvey out. I grab a hoodie as it's one of the colder autumn days. I put Harvey's lead on him, grasp my bag with my keys, phone and book, and head out into the cool, crisp day.

Leaves crunch underneath my shoes. The smell of grass and fresh air is all around me. Harvey runs over the grass, sending water droplets into the air, happily barking as he goes. As I walk along the familiar route that I have taken so many times, I see the same people going about their daily life. Michelle Orom, Mike's old primary school teacher, waves at me, her blond hair swaying in the wind. I wave back, a grin on my face as I remember how much she used to adore Mike. Lee Hatcher, my old hairdresser, sits on a weathered bench reading the latest Vogue magazine. Sarah Montgomery, Izzy's piano teacher, takes her beloved corgi for a walk in her bag. I look at these people, some I've known for over ten years, and I can't help but reflect on my own life. I wonder how these people see me, I think. Do they see me as the professor their children might learn from some day? Do they see me as the mother who once made a bully's parents cry? Do they see me as the friendly neighbour who always lends a hand to others? I'm bought back to earth by Harvey pulling on his lead, trying to chase after a bird. "Heel!!" I say sternly. Harvey looks at me with his big brown eyes, and I melt. "Fine, go kill it then. Don't come running to me when that bird turns on you." I let him go and sit down on a bench, positioned perfectly across a blue, sparkling pond. Ducks swim effortlessly, lounging in the cool air, waiting for a child to throw stale bread. From across the pond, three children are running around playing a game of tag. To their left, an elderly couple enjoy a picnic together, laughing as they feed each other. I turn my attention back to Harvey, who has fallen in the pond.

I nearly shout his name, until it dawns on me that if he comes over here, I will be covered in muck and pond water. I decide to leave it.

"He's a beautiful dog!" a voice says to my left. I turn around to see a middle-aged woman looking adoringly at Harvey. "You are so lucky to have such a fun dog. My husband is allergic so I'm stuck with a cat who hates me."

I laugh. "I'm lucky my husband loves dogs. We've always wanted one. I'm Anna Mason, by the way."

The woman turns to me. She has big blue eyes, a perfect straight nose as if she stole it from a Roman sculpture and golden red hair, styled into a bob. "Nice to meet you Anna. I'm Lisa Summers. I must say, your dog has literally made me laugh out loud since you arrived!"

"I'm glad to hear it! He's a very playful dog, he's decided that wherever he is, is a playground!"

Lisa chuckles. Her hair bobs around her shoulders. "How old is he?"

I try and remember, my face screwing up in the process. He's 4. We adopted him shortly after our previous retriever died."

"Oh, that's terrible!" Lisa exclaims. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your previous dog?" She looks at me, her blue eyes piercing my green ones.

"He just aged. We adopted Barney when he was 8 weeks old, just after we moved from a flat to a house. He lived until he was 12, but unfortunately old age caught up with him. It happens often with pure-breds."

Lisa nods along, listening to me intently. "That's a shame. We have a tabby cat who hates me and David."

I laugh. "I used to have a tabby who I swear, wanted to kill me in my sleep. The way he looked at me, scared me shitless sometimes"

Lisa laughs, her laugh sounding like chimes tinkling in the wind. "I know exactly how you feel. David doesn't believe me, but I'm pretty sure the only reason the cat hasn't ripped my throat open yet is because I feed him." Lisa looks at her watch, and jumps out of her seat. "I am so sorry, I'm late back from my lunch break! Thank you for talking to me, hopefully see you again, bye!"

Before I get the chance to say goodbye, Lisa shoots off. I can't help but notice that she can run in heels. Brave lady, I think to myself, envying her. I can barely walk in heels. I beckon Harvey over, clip his lead back on, and set off towards the lake half a mile away from the park. As we walk, my mind starts to drift. No, I tell myself firmly. Don't think about it. Walking around parks and fields always set off my memories. These places were where I spent most of my childhood. Jon nearly killed me on this field. Sam left me on this field. Sam found me crying on this field and saved me from myself. This simple piece of grass has witnessed the worst moments of my life. The only place that I loved around this haunted area of nature was the lake.

The lake was without a doubt, one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It's crystal clear water gleams in the sunlight, making it shine like glass. Trees surround the edges of the lake, acting as if they were ancient protectors of an empress. A small bridge cascades out into the lake, vines growing up the side of the legs and flowers entwined in the slats. Wild plants grow in-between the trees and the bank. The bank consisted of a few picnic benches, a sandy-like area, a grassy patch and some wooden planks where you could sit and fish. I sit down on the planks, taking my book out of my bag while letting Harvey off his lead. He runs around the bank, lying down in his favourite spot underneath an oak tree, where the shade is nice and cool. I lie down on my back and continue to read where I left off.

After reading for half an hour, I decide to walk along the bridge and take my shoes off to dip my feet into the chilly water. I look over to the other side of the lake where a father and son are fishing. They wave and continue focusing on their fishing. A cold, wet nose rubs my arm and Harvey lays down beside me, his front two legs resting on mine. I absent-mindedly stroke his fur whilst gazing into the lake, thinking about a time in February 2010, when my only solace was a lake, a good friend, and a battle for my life.