Cracks Within

Chapter 13

Friday 24th May 2019.

Marshall plays with my hair as we lie in bed, watching an old re-run of American Dad. He suddenly moves and traces his finger up and down my naked back, kissing the back of my neck as he does it. His other hand wanders up my thigh, making goose bumps appear all over my skin. I feel like I'm buzzing with electricity as I turn to face him. His eyes follow my every move, finally deciding to lock with my eyes.

"You are amazing." he says, breathlessly. He strokes my face. "What didn't you tell me in our session Tuesday?"

I look down at his chest. "It doesn't matter."

"I'm your therapist. Everything matters."

I stroke his chest. He breathes deeply. "I will tell you later today in our session. It's only one in the morning."

He looks at the clock on the wall above the television. "True. You should get some sleep. Your incident with the pills yesterday are going to take a while to wear off."

I run my hand through his hair. "I don't want to sleep. I want to stay up with you."

His mouth curves up into a half smile as he closes his eyes. I feel his head lightly on mine. "I can't lose you." he says, in a voice that is barely a whisper. I feel his warm breath on my hair.

"You won't." I whisper back. I move my head to his neck and start lightly kissing it, casually biting as I go. He makes a deep noise and holds the back of my head with his hands. He pushes my head back and kisses me passionately on the lips. I push myself against him, feeling his response. I roll on top of him. We look deeply into each other's eyes and he enters me.

I wake up, feeling groggy from having little sleep. I look to my right and notice that the other half of the bed is missing. A note was left on Marshalls pillow. I smile and open it up.

I've gone to get us breakfast. Stay in bed and don't move. I love you.

I lay the note down by my side of the bed and lay there, waiting eagerly for Marshall to get home. I turn the television on and click on Netflix. As I watch a random film, I hear the front door open and shut. I grin as I turn on my side, waiting for him to walk into the room. I hear the familiar thuds of his feet on the stairs as he bursts into the room. He grins as he jumps on the bed, kissing me as he puts our breakfast between us.

"Hello." he says, affectionately. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay." I decide at the last minute to lie.

He studies my face. "No, you're not. Did you sleep okay?"

His blue eyes pierced mine. "No." I admit. "I had a really shit sleep. I felt woozy during the night but I didn't wanna wake you up, because you've got sessions all day." I start to play with my hands until I realise that it was Marshall who figured out that I did it when I was anxious. I immediately stop, hoping he didn't notice. He did. He reaches out with his hand and holds both of mine in one. He places his other hand on my cheek.

"I don't care if you wake me up when I have work the next day. I'm here for YOU." He kisses me softly. "Anyway, I have food and coffee. You have a busy day today, you need to be prepared."

He hands me the coffee and I take a sip, letting the caffeine seep through me. I look up at Marshall. "I'm not doing it. You know I'm not."

He coughs. "Yes, you are. You have too. It's part of your therapy. You do this and you don't have to be in the psychiatric ward five times a week."

"I won't have a different shrink once a week. It's not happening. Especially not a specialist in detecting liars."

"You have to do this, you need to. There's no other way that we can be together. I love you Anna, and I want to be able to show it to the world. Not to my bedroom two nights a week." He kisses my cheek. "I want to show you the world, Anna. I want to build our life." he whispers the last word in my ear and kisses down my face until he reaches my neck. "Get ready." he says softly. "It's time to meet Dr Jack Moreau."