Cracks Within

Chapter 10

Tuesday 9th October 2040.

I snap out of my thoughts, barely able to breathe. I try and catch my breath. I've never gone into two memories at once. I immediately find my phone and called Marshall.

"Anna?"

I try and calm down. "I went into a memory and then another memory infiltrated it and I can't breathe and I-" I start to cry."

"I'm coming to your house. Wait there." He hangs up.

Ten minutes later, Marshall's car pulls up by mine. He gets out, and slides into the back of my car. I copy him. I lie there in his arms, silently crying. He strokes my head, plays with my hair and hums a song I didn't recognize. His strong arms make me feel so protected and I feel like I could trust him with my life.

"We'll definitely start our sessions again. I hate seeing you like this." he whispers. "I remember why I loved you so much." he says out of the blue. My heart rate quickens and I can't stop my curiosity.

"Why did you?" I ask, barely speaking above a whisper.

"You were alone. You were vulnerable. You were, and still are, the most beautiful person I have ever met. I've never met anyone like you. I knew I loved you the minute you trusted me to check your wound." He lifted my top where the white scar still shines like a beacon. He stroked his finger up and down it. "It was in a private area and you still trusted me. Seeing you lying on that table, naked for the world to see, your wounds destroying the sheer beauty of your body... it sparked a protective instinct in me that I never knew I had. I've been thinking about that moment since you called me. It's the moment I decided that I wanted to be with you until I die."

My breathing quickens. I gaze into my former lover's eyes. I truly loved him. I still love him. "That's the memory that interrupted my other one. I remember it as if it were yesterday."

Marshall smiles. "All I want to do right now is kiss you and make love to you. Don't worry" he adds, as if he was expecting a bad reaction. "We're both married and we can't. I will always remember what it felt like when you were mine."

I watched his car as he left my driveway. I open the front door and fall, leaning on it for support. I nearly kissed him, I kept thinking to myself. I didn't even think about Sam. I decided that a nice, hot bath is what I needed to clear my mind. As I'm running the bath, my phone pings. I check it and I can't help smiling.

MARSHALL: Your smile makes my day. I'll see you Friday.

I leave my phone on top of my bag while I undress and get into the bath. I close my eyes while stroking Harvey. I look down my body at all the scars I had inflicted on myself. Sam never touched them. He always made me feel like they weren't there, like I was perfect. Sam was the sweetest guy in the world. So was Marshall. I decide to ignore all my thoughts and start to fall asleep.

A loud bang startles me and I leap out of the bath, putting on my dressing gown. I creep out of the bathroom and peek downstairs. A large man dressed in black was running around my house, looking for things to steal. I start to panic. I call Sam. He doesn't answer. I decide to call Marshall.

"Marshall, there's a burglar in my house. Sam isn't answering, and I haven't called the police yet.

"On my way."

I put my phone in my pocket and start to creep downstairs, forgetting to call the police. I make it to the bottom without making a sound. I walk into the kitchen to get myself a weapon. Luckily, he isn't in here. I pick up a knife and suddenly a shiver cascades down my spine. I can't hear him, I think to myself. I turn around and the burglar is staring straight at me.

"Well, well, well." he says in a cockney accent. "Looks like I found my prize."

I punch him in the gut and raise the knife, ready to impale his arm. Unfortunately, he's too quick for me and bends my hand backwards, making me release the knife. He wraps one arm around my stomach and one arm around my neck. "Time for some fun." he whispers in my ear. The smell of cigarettes wafts off him, making me gag. He drags me upstairs into my bedroom and rips my dressing gown off me, laughing as he does so. I try and kick him but he catches my foot, stopping me. Spinning me to face him, he pushes me onto the bed. He pins me down, undoing his jeans at the same time.

"I'm gonna enjoy this." he says, giving me an evil smile.

He forces himself into me. I cry out in pain, thrashing as much as I can, trying to throw him off. He's twice as strong as me and my efforts are barely inconveniencing him. He carries on thrusting, each push paining me more than the last. Tears stream down my face and I shout at him to get off me. He punches me in the face, spitting on me as he talks.

"Shut the fuck up, you little bitch." he sneers.

His grubby hand squeezes my breast. "Nice size." he grunts. He bites my neck, moving his way down to my breasts. After what seems like an eternity, he pulls out of me. Blood surrounds me, and the pain is unbearable. I look up at my attacker. He's still smiling. I go to close my legs but he stops me. "Oh, you didn't think I was done, did you?" he cackles. "I'm just cleaning myself up because you bled all over me, disgusting bitch." He reaches for the wipes by the bed, never letting me out of his sight. I wish I could end it all. Before I have time to recover, he forces himself back into me. I scream and my attacker is pulled out of me. He gets thrown on the floor by Marshall.

His eyes are wild. He has a wooden block in one hand a small knife in the other. Anger radiates off him as he stares down at my assailant. He starts to stir on the floor and manages to stand up. He's shorter than Marshall but twice as wide.

Marshall speaks. "If you don't leave right now, I will kill you." he says in a deadly voice.

The burglar runs out from my room down the stairs and out of the front door. Marshall stands by the window, ensuring that the attacker's gone before coming over to me. He drops the block and the knife and lays down on the bed, holding me in his arms.

"Shh. It's okay, I'm here now. No one will hurt you again, I swear it on my life." he says, soothingly.

He moves away from me. I panic thinking he's leaving me but he returns with some towels. "Don't be alarmed. I'm going to clean you up." he says quietly. I nod, slowly opening my legs for him. I whimper as he takes care of me.

"Done." he says softly. He kisses the start of my scar and rests his head on my stomach. "I'm so sorry I didn't get here earlier."

I stroke his hair. "Don't be. I'm so grateful you turned up and got him out of here. I was so scared." I kept silently crying, hoping he wouldn't see me.

He kisses the top on my bikini line. "I will kill him. I will find him and I will kill him."

I try to speak but my voice betrays me. Marshall moves up and continues to cuddle me. I feel his hot breath on my cheek. I look up at my saviour and he kisses me, gentle as a feather. I wrap my hand around his neck. He tightens his arm around my waist.

"Wait." I gasp. "We can't do this." Marshall nods in agreement.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you Friday." He kisses me again and he leaves.

I sit downstairs after changing the bed and emptying the bath, dressed in my favourite hoodie and jogger set, a knife carefully concealed underneath the chair cushion. I read my book, trying to take my mind off today. It doesn't work. I think about how Marshall reacted when he found out I couldn't have kids. I think about Sam having to leave me for his job, again. I think about how I don't feel safe in my own home. I have been through so much to get this life, a perfect life (on the surface), and now it feels like it's being ripped away. I let my heart get ripped out by Sam before; what if he does it again? What if he's not at work right now but with someone else? I let my mind drift to another painful memory.