Quotes And Stuff

71 - ME

This is once again gonna be confusing af so Skip if you'd like...
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When you get that feeling, and all you want to do is cry,
It comes first in the morning and keeps bothering you throughout your entire day but you're still fighting those stupid tears back, while trying to just smile, knowing your tears might just clear the wall you've carefuly built up to keep them from rolling down your cheeks.

My wall was nearly broken as I was one my way back home,
I forced it up once again
I've never cared what people thought until I moved here and was forced start over, new house, new city, new friends,

everything changed, and so did I, without me paying any attention.
But nothing actually did change, it only went back to how it used to be, I had only forgotten what my life was; a stepping stone for others to use freely and even though I took them higher I remained in the same place.

I really would have just taken a thanks and then let it be and keep being just that, a stepping stone, but you know what? My whole body is broken and might never work like it used to. I would have taken a thanks and kept going but I never received one. Not once.

What I had forgotten came running back into my life and left me stunned and unable to move for a really long time, my body today is still stiff and won't work like it used to,
My body might never take anyone beyond the clear blue sky again.

I'd be fine with a thanks but who would say thanks to someone who they take for granted and trusts they'll stay without having to even raise their hand.

My body is broken because I was foolish. My mind is searching for a reason to stay.
My soul has been gone from the beginning.
My heart is searching for hope, for someone who needs me and won't take me for granted, someone to tell me thank you.

I wonder if anyone sees the pain in my heart, the tears behind the walls in my eyes, my lost soul, I'm searching and if anyone sees how much I trust them to understand my hope is fading and my smile getting smaller everyday or that I'm more tired than I used to be.

Or just that I'm just different from how I should be, or from how I'm supposed to be in your mind, or how the picture that you painted of me that first time you saw me wasn't the person I am.

Don't think you know me just because you've seen me a few times. If you have no clue about my past or about my pains you can't say you know me.

I'm broken and looking for hope in a soul I lost long ago, I'm already lost and the stepping stone who could take anyone above the warm clear blue sky is in millions of peaces and I can't move to put them back together. I can only wait for a kind soul to see I'm broken and help me back together.

But even if that were to happen wouldn't I go back to helping everyone, not asking for respect only wishing for a thanks never saying a word just hoping they'll understand,

And then once again I'll break, it's like this is the wish of everyone else, like it is set in stone and I don't even have the power to move.

Never coming near enough to break it but still hoping time will make it fade.

-Leiko-

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Ik it's boring... not my problem though (*pouting*)

Umm so I guess this sums up my move and feelings, me being depressed(still is) and like how I see myself