Well as of now. I look at myself and wonder what the hell I should do. I'm financially on the poorer side of the economy, I have a meh job. And literally all of my friends graduated last year.
I found that people can be insensitive, and I realize when I get offended that doesn't normally mean they're wrong. Or maybe they're joking around. Who gives a shit. I got tagged "furry" today, and I wanted some badly to just FLAME the person who said it, but... I breathed in, realized how insensitive that would've been, and decided not to. Instead I said "no I'm not, I said one thing as a joke" but the label remained. I'm not mad because its just with a small group of people, but this "small group of people" hosts one person I like. And not "Love" because heaven forbid I try now at the current state I'm in. So I got home and lit an incense stick. I'm trying to find a point where I CANNOT roast anyone. Where I can be called things and not be phased by it.
I think another reason I didn't "flame" this person is because they're trans. Its like "you have it bad enough already, such a hard life. I dont want to be that guy" so I held off. And even worse he says it to my ex. I guess its true, Taureans and Geminis don't really get along.
Speaking of which, I use the zodiac for EVERYTHING. Its my version of "witchcraft" where they see spells, I see phases of the planets. Where they see pairings of people, I look to Venus. Its a thing ive been doing since January of this year. I think its a healthier thing than buying spices, enchanting things and getting all serious about something. I don't see anything of that sort like a "THIS IS SERIOUS, STOP TAKING IT SO LIGHT HEARTED, IT WORKS" and more of a "oh..its a coping mechanism....cool"
I gotta say that being voided is kind of cool. You dont really go through many emotions, nor any depression episodes. I just exist. I'm like part of the earth in that there's nothing more to me than a body walking on the ground. Breathing the air. Looking at whatever there is to see.
I go to community college in a year, and get my general studies out of the way. So that's fun. I wish I could go straight to a four year university, but sadly I'm not in a position to decide where I go. Could I get a scholarship and do everything in my power to go to where I want to go? Sure. But first I need to get my life together before I try to do anything else. A good vent I guess. I gotta remember to write more.....also read more. I noticed my rhetoric is lacking, and so is my vocabulary.
