When Izaya had finally fallen asleep I picked him up and brought him to his room. With a wet cloth I wiped his injury and placed a couple bandages on it. As he slept I thought about what Izaya was saying.
~who is he? Who was telling him to kill himself? I'll kill them!~
But as i thought that i also though how much i was to blame for this too. I was so scared of falling in love with him that i left him alone when he needed me most.
~i dont have the right to love him if i left him at a time like this~
I was pulled out of my thoughts by izaya sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
"Hey hey. You shouldnt move around right now. Youve been through alot. Lay back down and sleep. Ill watch over you"
I said as i tried to lead him back to laying down. He grabbed my hand and patted the bed next to him.
"I cant unless you lay here too."
I tried my best to conceal my blush but what also caught me off guard what the terror in his voice.
"Why?"
I mumbled out just loud enough. Izaya looked down at the bed and squeezed my hand tighter.
"Because hes only quite when i touch you."
"What?"
I was confused and worried for the frail man infront of my. Clinging to my hand like he would die if he let go and shaking like there was an earthquake.
"The voice. Hes in my head. Hes always talking. Saying terrible terrible things."
The sound of Izaya's voice was shaky and laced with fear. But then he looked at me and smiles, squeezing my hand once more.
"But when im with you he stays quite. Its like he goes away whenever im close to you."
I finally realized what he was saying. And who the "he" he was talking about earlier was. It was himself. His own insecurities tearing apart from the inside out. He needs me to help him concour those. I have to protect him.
I sigh, lean over him, and connect my lips to his forehead. A gesture neither him nor I expect to happen. With a realization at my sudden affection, I blushed and quickly moved back and around the bed. After I settled myself into the bed I lifted an arm and Izaya happily slid under it and curled into my chest as my arm draped around him. He let out a content sigh onto my neck causing my skin to grow goosebumps, but I was able to get use to the feeling. It was soon after that we feel asleep together.
I woke up a couple hours later and it was dark out. The reason I was awake was because I heard noises next to me. I turn to see Izaya curled into a ball, in the corner, covering his mouth with tears streaming down his face.
I didnt even hesitate to get up and run to his side. He jumped at the sudden movement in the room but eased up when he noticed it was me. Quickly he wiped his eyes and smiles weakly at me.
"Oh I'm sorry Shizu-chan. Did I wake you up?"
I was surprised by Izaya's blatant lie. He was hurting and sad but still tried to pretend he was ok and smile. I didnt even know what to say at the moment so I did the only think i could think of. I grabbed Izayas shoulders and pulled him into a hug.
It was as if my touch was an acid that burned off his mask and all self control he had. He cried softly into my shoulder.
"I'm sorry. Im sorry I'm causing you trouble. I'm sorry for making you watch me to two year. I'm sorry for telling you I love you. I'm sorry for making you stay here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please dont hate me. I can change. Just dont hate me please."
I pull back from the hug harshly and put a hand to Izayas face forcing him to look at me and shaking his body slightly.
"Stop! Ok. Just stop. I am not going to leave you! I wont hate you! Stop blaming yourself and trying to pretend. I'm here for you. And not being your making me. It's because I want to be here. I dont want you to change or force yourself to be fine. I want you to rely on me and let me help you. Let me be here. Dont push me away."
Izaya still had tears running down his face but he couldnt bring himself to look away from me, and I didnt want him to. His crimson eyes were filled with fear and pain and I just wished I could make it all go away. I wanted him to let me in. Let me help. To stop closing off from me and pretending.
I dont know what I was thinking but I lifted my other hand to his other cheek and slowly pulled him and myself closer together until our lips were millimeters away from each other. I stopped there.
I can't do this. Hes too unstable. What if this just makes things worse for him. What if he changed his mind about being in love with me. What if this is the wrong move.
All of a sudden a feel Izaya shift and his lips press against mine as his hands softly land on mine. My brain stopped trying to reason and I excepted the feeling that I hadn't realized I missed.
I dropped my hands to Izayas wait and pulled him closer, almost a hug but not. I just wanted to feel him. To know this was real and that he wasnt going to disappear the moment I opened my eyes. I'm sure Izaya felt the same because his arms wrapped around my neck to also pull himself closer.
Our lips moulded together perfectly on a soft, slow, loving pace. Neither of us wanted to pull away first but we were running out of air.
I pulled back but didnt let Izaya go. He did the same. We stared into eachother eyes but in a calming, passionate way.
And that was when I saw a real smile curl up on Izayas lips that moments ago were pressing against mine.
My heart skipped a beat at the sight and pulled Izaya into another hug, feeling his arms tighten to high me back.
Maybe...just maybe. I can save him.
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Thank you for reading and I hoped you liked it. Sorry for the late update but I hope this will ride you all over until I update again. Anyway tha is again.
~HQ
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Save Me(Depressed!Izaya x Shizuo)
FanfictionShizuo stumbles upon Izaya one night on the verge of death and rushes him to the hospital. Before Izaya looses consciousness he confessed his love for Shizuo before going into a two year long coma. Shizuo blames himself for Izaya's condition through...