Smoke fills my lungs
Pushing my chest till it hurts
I hold it in
Letting it out only hurts more
Keeping it in keeps others safe
I can't lose someone again
The smoke hurts
My chest hurts
Everything hurts
I can't hold it in
Letting it out pushes everyone away
No one knows why I'm hurting
Nobody cares about pain
Nobody sees my pain till I'm covered in blood
Till the smoke turns my lungs black
The smoke is blacker than any bruise
Darker than all my fears
It hurts deeper than all the trauma
Yet I still hold it in
Keeping it in till I combust
Holding on to my slipping sanity
Releasing the smoke means I'll be free
Free from pain
Free from a barrier
My friends will see the real me
A scared child who needs to be held
And they'll walk away.
