bullied

Ch. 19: "That Secret"

⋆Justin's POV⋆

the kiss was nasty! awful. Just terrifying. I had to kiss her and act all weird because otherwise, she's gonna think I don't care about her and all that shit girls worry about.

And if Luke decides to be big mouth and tell Ariana, she's not going to believe him because I 'love' her too much to do that.

May not be the smartest thing but whatever. Luke was bothering me all day yesterday about how I should treat girls like that. Well guess what? I don't give a fuck. He's so fucking annoying sometimes. I just want to punch his damn mouth till he decides to shut up.

Me dipping Ariana and kissing her... was so fucking terrifying. In my head I'm just like damn you're so fucking ugly and you're such a terrible kisser. After I left, I literally felt so disgusted. How can someone kiss so bad? I know I'm bad a kissing but I'm not the worse...

I hope I never have to do that shit again. At lease not that intense... maybe just kisses on the cheek from time to time. But never again will I kiss those dry lips ever again.

Gives me the chills just thinking about how nasty it is.

Ew.

Things I don't like about Ariana but have to pretend I like are many things. One, she's a terrible kisser but I have to pretend like I like it.

Second, I have to hold her hand and like it but in reality, she has no grip and it bothers me so much because she's not holding my hand tightly and I have to give all the grip and sometimes it's just tiring.

Third, she has an ugly ass face because her eyes are too big and her lips are so long. Her chin is so pointy and she wears too much makeup. When I kiss her on the cheek, I feel like I have foundation all over my lips because it's so thick. When I kiss her lips, they literally become bright pink or red. It's kinda disgusting because lipstick tastes nasty.

I never really seen her without makeup before... she thinks she looks ugly. She's not wrong but... I'd like to see her without makeup for once... you know, to see if she's ugly both ways.

She also like to walk ahead a lot. And that bothers me so much because she walks so fast and I always have to catch up with her and it gets really tiring.

Yes, I'm a lazy guy but she does everything so ahead. I really hope I can break up with her soon because I'm tired of keeping up with her pace.

Soon, I'm seriously gonna lose it. How did she ever keep that relationship with Jai in the first place... you know... before I broke them. That was a happy time. I don't know, I just felt good.

Anyways, I'm just not in the mood for anything happy today... just because I got a lecture from Luke yesterday about how I should play with a girls heart.

Like SHUT UP!

I got ready for school and skipped breakfast. I opened the door and left without saying any 'byes'. I took the bus and went to school. I nearly missed it but I just made it.

I walked into school with annoyance and went straight to my locker.

"Don't mess with a girls heart" Luke said.

Shut up.

"It's mean"

Shut the fuck up.

"Why would you do that?"

"SHUT UP!" I said throwing him against a locker.

He got on my last nerve and I couldn't help it.

"LET GO OF ME YOU FUCKING ASS!" Luke yelled, punching me in the face.

"CAN YOU FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT IT!"