Paparazzi- A One Direction Fanfiction

"Oh, and tell your father that next time, to use a condom!"

You know when you laugh a lot, sometimes for funny situations, other times just for nothing? If you do then you probably also know the feeling you get when you laugh too much and can’t stop. Well, that is exactly what was happening to me right now.

After I did my little spit take on Alison (Barbie), I burst out laughing. I’m pretty sure Niall couldn’t hold it in either because he to also started laughing with me. By laughing, we mean on the floor clutching our stomachs laughing. Seriously! We fell out of our chairs minutes ago! I was clutching my stomach for dear life while Niall was pounding on the floor like there was no tomorrow. Liam was trying to hold back a smile but failing miserably. Louis was laughing along, but he was still able to stay in his seat somehow. Zayn was laughing but only the kind that you get whenever you tell a funny joke. Harry, oh Harry. He wanted to hold back a laugh and unlike Liam he was actually able to do it. I don’t know how none of the coffee got on him but it certainly did get on that rat on his lap.

Alison. Barbie’s face was priceless when I spit my coffee on her. At first she didn’t know what was happening, but when realization hit, she was thrashing her arms and screaming like a little girl saying how hot it was and that it was burning her skin. Psh! Yeah right! If I would’ve known any better, I would’ve said that she just said that to take her top off in front of Harry. Did I mention she still had that apron on so there was no possible way that it was ‘burning through her skin!’ and, did I mention that she was still sitting on Harry’s lap even after it all happened?

The coffee also had gotten in that fake head of hair that she has, on her face, on her apron (her boss is not gonna be happy with her!), and I’m pretty sure it was dripping on her skirt into her shoes. She was sitting on Harry’s lap which made her about two inches taller than when you are sitting down normally on a chair. Also, I swear I saw stem coming out of her head, and I don’t think it’s because of the coffee.

“You!” she said pointing a finger at the floor where I was continually laughing. I stopped long enough for me to actually speak the English language. Wow, I’m not used to seeing her out of Harry’s lap so fast.

“Me?” I used the same tone of voice she had and I pointed a finger at myself.

“You did this!” she pointed at her clothes and her hair.

“I don’t think I would’ve wanted a child as ugly as you Alison. If I did, I would’ve given you up for adoption the minute I saw you.” That just made Niall laugh more. Did I mention that I’m still on the floor?

“Oh yeah, well at least I have a mother!” she said. Oh she did not just go there! I immediately stopped laughing and so did the boys. Barbie was smiling now. “Yeah Al, word down the street is that your mother left you as soon as you were born!” how does this girl even know this? My eyes widened because if this chick knew about my mom, there’s no joke she didn’t know about my Dad. What if she spills about him being the boss of the paparazzi? I just earned the guys trust and they haven’t even let me stay with them yet! I could easily lose it!

I stood up from the floor to meet a smirking Alison. She probably knew she hit a nerve and just wanted to see how far she can make me go. I took one step towards her.

“No one talks about my mom like that. Even if she is a bitch!” I said glaring at her.

“Why not? Oh don’t even get me started on your Dad-” before she could finish her sentence I brought my fist back and cringed in pain when I felt the contact of skin and bone.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s not polite to get your nose in anyone’s business?” I glared at what must be an unconscious Barbie.

“Oh, and tell your father that next time, to use a condom!” I yelled at her before getting my stuff and running out of the coffee place. I could really care less if the boys let me stay with them now. Bringing up my mom was a really touchy subject. I mean, my Dad didn’t even tell me until I was five. I would always ask for my mom but he would never tell me anything really. He would just say that she left us and what not. Actually, he told me the full story when I was 11. I know that I might act all cool on the outside, but whenever someone’s brings up my mom, I get pissed.