I was trying to be civil kay Jacob. That was three days ago. And when I meant civil, I mean iniiwasan ko siya. When they're downstairs, I stay in my room. I just cook our food, eat without them then I go back to my room. I also make sure na locked yung bathroom when I'm using it.
Kuya was starting to notice. Jacob absolutely noticed and he also makes sure na naaabutan niya ako but he fails every time.
I heard a knock on my door, followed by my Kuya's voice.
"Baby girl?" Kuya said.
I stood up and opened it.
"Hey Kuya." I smiled.
"Can I come in?"
I shrugged.
"Sure."
He entered and sat at the edge of my bed.
"What's up? Why are you so distant?" He asked, worried.
"Huh? Hindi a." tanggi ko.
"Anong hindi? I know you. Is this about me letting Jacob stay here? If you want we can-"
"No. No. No, Kuya. It's not about that. I'm fine with it. It's just that, you know, girl problems." I scratched the back of my head.
"Oh. Akala ko ano na. I was worried."
I chuckled and messed his hair.
"Don't worry too much Kuya."
He just shrugged and stood up.
"I need to go. Babalik lang ako mamayang gabi. Bye baby. See you later."
He kissed my cheek and I bid my goodbye too.
After Kuya was gone, I was left alone wondering in my thoughts. Not long later I heard another knock. Maybe he left something.
I stood up and opened it. Si Jacob ang bumungad sa 'kin. I was about to close it but he raced me to it. He was inside in one swift motion.
"What the fuck Jacob? What are you doing here?" I hissed.
"Baby-"
"Fuck you. Don't call me that."
"You want to fuck me?" He smirked.
Napahilot ako sa sentido ko. Oh, gosh.
"Look Jacob. This is not a good idea. I suggest you leave my room now."
He shrugged and went for my door. Woah, that went well.
I thought he was going to leave but he just locked it and walked towards me. I started to walk backward.
"Jacob, umalis ka na."
He doesn't stop hanggang sa na-corner na ako sa dingding. He leaned in, so close to me and I feel like I couldn't breathe.
"Jacob."
It was supposed to be a hiss but it came out as a small and husky tone.
"Hmm, baby? Trying to avoid me?"
He put the strands of my hair at the back of my ear and I swallowed.
"I- I had to."
He smirked.
"Why? Afraid to feel it? Afraid of me? Afraid to feel this?
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang inilagay niya yung kamay ko sa kanya. It was big, long and thick in my fingers. It took me my willpower not to wrap my fingers.
My breathing was heavy.
"Jacob, this is so fucking wrong."
"Care to tell me why?"
I laughed sarcastically.
"Well for one, boyfriend ka ni Kuya. And second, ex na kita." I coughed.
"So that stops what?" Tinagilid niya ang ulo niya.
"This!" I hissed. "You're not supposed to be here in my room. You're not supposed to talk to me. You're not supposed to be fucking torturing me sexually."
"Oh so you admit you're tempted?"
"It's not about that!"
"I don't care Lyle. I want you. I still want you."
"Shut up!"
I put my finger in his mouth. He sighed.
"Okay fine. I won't say it."
"Buti narealize mo. Si Kuya na ngayon ang boyfriend mo." I rolled my eyes.
"I dunno, Lyle. I- I'm still confused."
"Oh, gosh. Dude, my brother loves you," I saw him flinch. "Can you atleast try to protect your relationship?"
He became silent.
"Y- You don't want me here?"
His voice cracked.
"It's not about that! Jacob, we're done, okay? Our relationship doesn't matter already. It's all about you and Kuya now!" I said.
I haven't realized I was crying until Jacob touched my cheeks.
"Shh, baby. Don't cry."
He hugged me and I snuggled against him. His warm hug is what I needed and what I missed. I need him but Kuya needs him more.
"Jacob, that fucking gets me. That brings up memories. Please don't call me that." I choked.
He started to stroke my hair to comfort me. He still remembers.
"I'm sorry for causing you pain." He croaked. "Ako na lang palagi sumasakit at nagpapaiyak sa 'yo. I'm so sorry. If this is what you want, if this is for the better, I'll do it for you."
I wanted nothing but to cry my heart out at what he said. Is this what I want? No. But, this makes the situation better. We're not meant for each other.
"Just one last request, let me sleep with you, not that sleep. Let me just feel you again in my arms. Please, Lyle?"
His voice was full of emotions and it was breaking my heart so I nodded. He smiled and guided me to my bed and we slept, hugging each other. I snuggled against him and he hugged me tightly.
This is home.
