journal entry || Cyrus Goodman + TJ Kippen

journal 2

"Do you have practice today, Tj?" Amber looked toward her brother who was finishing his bowl of cereal. "Not tonight." he answered between bites.

"Good because I have work and.. well.." tj immediately eyed his sister, sensing the hint guilt in her voice. "What'd you do?" He questioned his sister. Amber shut her eyes tightly and began to ramble. "Y'know how you said you were failing math and coach said if you didn't bring up your grade he'd have to let you off the team?" She waited for an answer, but TJ only hummed an "mhmm?"

"I got you signed up for tutoring." Amber opened her eyes slowly, taking in her brother's expression. He was angry. "You what, now?" He raised a single eyebrow.
"Look, you need the help!" She desperately shifted her eyes away from her brothers stare. "I'm not going to them!" He said sternly. His sister only glared back at him this time. "You're going to those appointments, TJ, no basketball if you don't." And with that she grabbed her school bag and ran out the door, leaving Tj hopelessly running after her but giving up at the gate of his house. "NOT COOL AMBER!!"
—
Tj Kippen's POV

I walked slowly to school with only two things on my mind, revenge and a certain small brunette boy. Maybe possibly being gay isn't that bad? I mean.. Cyrus doesn't exactly give me a hetero vibe. Do I give a hetero vibe? My thoughts came to a close as I entered the school building earlier than usual. I had time to sit and study or practice basketball for a more realistic matter. So I headed towards the gym, but the sound of two girls and a boy cheering was audible. I stepped in and the first person I saw was Buffy.

"Sorry to tell ya, Driscoll," I placed down my bag. "But the gyms taken." I said, ignoring the other two around us, she raised an eyebrow and dropped her ball. "Yeah, by who, kippen?" It was only appropriate to call each other by our last names, we haven't exactly gotten along since we had gym class together in first grade.

We took steps closer to each-other. "By me." I said while I glared at her disgustingly boring eyes. Maybe she was pretty, but I hated her and it wouldn't be appropriate for me to complement her.

"Hold on guys, c'mon.. we can share the court." A familiarly cheerful voice broke my stare and I moved my head towards the sound, my expression immediately softened. Cyrus. Small, soft, innocent brunette. Cotton candy. "I- erm.." I couldn't let some kid soften me. "No can do, cupcake. Courts mine, no girls aloud." I glanced at Driscoll and her girlfriend. Did I just call Cyrus cupcake? I took a quick glance at the boy who was now blushing a deep hue of red. Alright, so maybe he noticed. "You can't possibly kick me out because I'm a girl, kippen. Anyway.. girls always do it better." She said with venom. "Stop your flirting, Driscoll. We all know you've had it out for me since first grade." I spat back at her with more venom. She laughed. "Oh, please! The only crushing I can see me doing with you is your skull." She was now inches away from me, not close as in a I wanna kiss you and rip you clothes off, but in a I wanna punch you and rip your head off kinda way. I was about to spit another offensive sentence toward her when the small boy placed his hand on my chest, gently pushing us apart and stepping between us. I could now see him up close, he was shorter than me, not by centimeters but by inches. He was so small, and god was he cute.

"Hold on guys!" His still high pitched voice screeched despite him being a freshman in high school. He was younger than me but only by two years. "Can't we just share? The courts so big!" I looked down at his big puppy eyes. And for a reason he looked directly back up at me, not once did he pay attention to Buffy.
"No way Cyrus, he has to leave!" She spat. "Tj doesn't have to leave." His eyes lingered on me for a second before turning to Buffy. He hadn't taken his hand of my chest, and I'm afraid if he doesn't soon he would be able to feel how my heart is practically jumping out of my chest because of him.

He finally dropped his hand from my chest, "tj can have that side of the court," he pointed to the left side. "And you can have that one." Buffy and I sighed and parted ways. He's cute and a problem solver.
Great.
I'm screwed.

By the time we stopped bickering I had only 15 minutes. I was fine with it since I always got around that time before school anyway, but I knew I'd hear it from Driscoll later. Great. I practiced while sneaking glances at Cyrus every now and then, he sat in the bench and pretended to know what was going on, another quality the brunette held that I found unbearably cute.
This is so weird for me.

—

When the bell rang to end 3rd period I only had one class left.
I rushed out of the classroom so fast that I bumped into a shorter figure, hard. They fell to the ground and gasped. Shit. "Shit!" I said. "Watch where you're-" I looked down to see a very taken back Cyrus rubbing his head, he looked as if he were about to cry. "Scary basketball guy-?"
"Fuck, Cyrus I'm so sorry." I grabbed his hand and pulled him up, still holding his hand I lead him for the side. "Are you alright?" I asked with concern. "Yeah. Yeah-" he continued to rub the bag of his head, I noticed a small amount of blood on his forehead. I reached out to touch it when he winced in pain. "Shit, Cyrus I'm so sorry.." I dropped my left hand and noticed my right fucking hand is interlaced with his what the fuck do I do.
"It- it's fine really, tj." I smiled a bit when he said my name. "I'm taking you to the nurse, come on."

We walked to the nurse with our fingers still tangled together. People stared. And I stared back, making them turn their heads the other way. Did Cyrus know we were holding hands? Or did he just not mind it?

When we reached the nurses office she insisted I went to class. "Nah, Miss I'll just wait here with him." I sat down in a chair as the nurse began to examine him. "And what in heavens have you done to yourself, child?" Cyrus opened his mouth to talk but I interrupted him.
"It was my fault, I bumped into him when not looking where I was going." She sighed. "I suspect you're not a very well driver as well, mr. kippen?" Cyrus laughed at this.
"I afraid not, miss." Cyrus's own laugh made me smile.

The nurse began to bandage his head and I felt what I assumed was guilt in my chest. I've never felt that one before. Let's add guilt to the list of things Cyrus makes me feel. (You bEttEr get that dirty thought out of your mind, not in my Christian household.)
It took about 5 minutes for her to finish.

"I'll write a note for the two of you to miss class today, i expect the two of you to sit on the bleachers in the empty gym. He needs to rest for a bit."
After she wrote us notes that I would drop off to our teachers this afternoon.
Cyrus and I sat down at the bleachers. The gym was always empty fourth period.

"I didn't expect you to go out of your way for me. You didn't have too." His hand was in mine again. His hands were so small and fragile, I don't even remember grabbing his hand but I must have. I shrugged. "I wanted to." He moved a little and his knee brushed mine, the same red hue returned to his cheeks.

"But you're Tj Kippen.." he said. "Yeah, I am." I agreed. "Buffy told me you weren't.. nice? And she told me not to talk to you." His voice lowered. "But here we are." I said, turning to him. "Yeah. Here we are."
He repeated.

—
Journal 2.

I think I've grown quite fond of the color brown. It's so warm and comforting, especially when I can find it in the eyes of Cyrus Goodman. A boy. Who's more than a boy? I didn't know that at the frisbee game the other night, but now I do. He's more than a boy. He's cotton candy, cupcake, and I'm scary basketball guy.