After what happened, Gerard couldn't even look him in the eyes. They sat in complete silence for most of the car ride back, and Gerard was too in shock to even cry about it like he usually would. Frank was a killer. And up until then he didn't want to accept that fact, but now he felt like everything was just crashing down. He loved him very much, more than he probably should've. And it felt wrong. But everything about him was so intriguing to Gerard and even if he was a terrible person something inside him didn't care about that. For some reason he felt the need to help him and try to make him a better person, even if there was no result in the end. He absolutely hated himself so much for loving him but he didn't know anything else. He had been with him so long that he had just learned to deal with his bullshit and push it to the side. But Gerard didn't know what to do anymore.
"Why are you so quiet?" Frank asked Gerard, and he just shook his head, not even looking at him.
"Because you killed that man" He whispered, a frown on his lips as he looked down at his lap blankly. "You didn't have to do that"
"He touched you, of course I had to" Frank argued, sighing softly. "I wasn't going to just let him get away with it" He said, staring at the road, a hard to read expression on his face. He was like that most of the time. Gerard didn't usually know how he felt, and it's not like he would tell him. He was very secretive, and most of the time that was a hard thing to deal with. Because no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't open up to Gerard, and he always ended up feeling like he was the one who had done something wrong.
"I know that b-but you didn't have to" Gerard repeated with tears burning in his eyes. "No one forced that gun into your hand. Sometimes killing someone isn't the best solution, especially when I was right there! You could've killed me, you could of missed and killed me and then-"
"Gerard! Calm down, please" Frank hushed, his tattooed hand gripping tightly on the wheel. "I did it because I love you. And yes he might've had a family and a life, but he had no fucking business trying to touch you like that. He had it coming" Frank sternly said. "Don't cry. Believe me I feel like a piece of shit for doing all of this. But you don't have to cry about it, because I know exactly what I'm doing. I know it's terrible, and I know most of the time I'm not the best to you. I'm just afraid of losing you. Because then I have no one. I have no fucking family, friends, anyone. Everybody hates me. Everybody thinks I'm the bad guy. And trust me, baby, I do NOT need you thinking that. You're the last god damn person I need to hate me, Alright? If I ever lost you I would take that same fucking gun and point it at myself, because I'm the reason that all of this is happening. And if I could take it back and start all over, I would. But that's not how this works, there's a lot more to this than what you think, dear. I can't just stop it, and I especially can't take back everything I've done to you" Frank said, his voice shaking a little.
He didn't say anything and only tears filled his watery eyes. "I'm sorry" I bit my lip to try and stop myself from crying. "I didn't realize that I was the only one you had" I whispered quietly, my voice just as unsteady as his now.
"You just scared me, daddy. There was so much-so much blood and I was just afraid that something would happen." I said in a quiet whisper, sniffling softly as I tried not to cry.
"That's okay, princess. You didn't know and that's okay. But I don't want you feeling bad for me, alright? There's nothing to feel bad about because I'm fine now. I have you and that's all I need" Frank said truthfully, or at least that's what he told himself and Gerard to sleep better at night.
"You're gonna need to get used to it though, it's my job" Frank said, referring to what had just happened.
"Why can't you find another job? This job sucks and you never spend any time with me" Gerard frowned, even though he knew that wasn't how things worked. He hoped there was some sort of solution that could be possible, because right now he didn't love how everything was turning out. Especially with Frank killing people, and then lashing out for things he didn't even do. It made no sense at all and he knew deep in his mind that it wasn't a healthy relationship whatsoever.
"That's never going to happen" Frank said bluntly, like it was normal to be murdering people everyday as a job. Gerard really did not understand the man, and it made him want to scream sometimes.
As he was lost in thought he noticed Frank texting someone on his phone as he continued to drive. He would of normally brushed it off but he was smiling quite a lot, which was odd for him. He wondered who it was but decided not to ask, although his curiosity eventually got the better of him.
"Who are you texting?" He asked curiously, glancing at his phone and then him.
"None of your business" Frank said in a snappy tone and Gerard just sighed, looking out the window. He could tell that if he said anything else it would piss the man off even further, but he wanted to know.
"Why do you always have to keep things from me? We've been together for longer than I can count and you still don't trust me. Why? Did I do something wrong?" Gerard asked him in a quiet voice, tears stinging in his eyes as he tried not to cry with all of his will.
"You didn't do anything wrong, principessa. I just don't trust people easily. That's how I grew up. I keep my distance from most people, because you never know what their intentions may be" The man said, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as if he were thinking back to when he was a child. Gerard wanted to say something to possibly understand what was going through his mind, but he didn't.
"You don't have to trust me, but I trust you"
"And why is that?" Frank asked with a raise of his eyebrow, not believing that someone like him could love a person as fucked up and cruel as he was.
"I don't know. You just make me feel something that I've never felt with anyone. I believe that you're a good person, I think that everyone is truly good deep inside of their hearts" He said, trying to get Frank to understand how he felt, although he may of not agreed with him.
"That's bullshit. I kill people for a living, I hurt you, I yell at you, I kidnapped you for Christ's sake! You don't fucking love me, how could you?" Frank nearly yelled at him, making Gerard go quiet and shrink down in his seat.
"I don't care what you say, I love you and I always will" The boy whispered in a voice that was barely heard.
"se pensi di amarmi sono sicuro che ti sbagli, piccola" The man huffed, lighting a cigar against his lips.
(Translation: if you think you love me i'm sure you're mistaken, baby)
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Sex toy
Fanfiction"Baby, this isn't wonderland" • ??✨ (I made this a while ago so its not to its full potential. I might edit/ re do it one day!)
