Castle: The journey of love

Connected forever

A week has passed since the shooting day in Montgomery's funeral, today was the last day Castle had to be at home, the next day he wanted to get to the precinct.

Beckett was sitting in her desk doing paper work but never stopped looking at Castle's empty chair, she even thought about asking someone to take the chair away, but she just couldn't, that chair gave her lots of good memories of her and Castle. But there was something else disturbing her to get the paper work's  attention. 

Without anyone notice, Beckett took from her bag something she bought earlier that morning before going to the precinct, and put it on her jacket's pocket, then she went to the bathroom.

"Hey, where are you going?" Esposito asked her when he saw her up 

"To the toilet, is there any problem with me going to the bathroom? your afraid a serial killer gets in here and I'm not here to save you?"

"So funny Beckett" was his only answer

Beckett continue walking to the bathroom

She make sure no was in there, then she locked the door. She sat in the toilet and took out from her pocket the pregnancy test, after letting out a sigh, tears started running down her face. She has been feeling dizzy and throwing up everywhere, her period was supposed to come two days before but it didn't showed up, so she decided to make the test to be sure.

After five minutes looking at the test, Beckett finally had the courage to do it. After a doing it, she needed to wait a minute to get the answer, that minute pass, it was time to look at the result please be negative, please she said loudly; She breath and counted to three, then she looked at the test. She started crying, crying like she never did before, this couldn't be happening.

What did I do to deserve this? i cant be pregnant with a man that did what Castle did to me. so many mans in the world why did Castle had to be the father? it was just once, how the hell am I pregnant? and Josh? he's a nice guy, he also dont deserve nothing of this? Why the person I most want to forget had to give me a baby? how am I going to tell Castle? or Josh? or Everyone?

She was asking herself this questions in tears, her face looked like a river with so many water falling down, she was leaving a nightmare, those nightmares you have but you cant forget and it feels so real. Beckett was now sitting in the floor ith her knees touching her chest How can i hate him but love him at the same time? she asked herself again crying even more. 

After a while she was better, she washed her face so no one could notice she had been crying, but it was hard cause her eyes were too red from of the tears

Then she left the bathroom and went to the break room, for some special reason the break room had always helped Beckett thinking about her life. She was looking throw the window, she placed one hand in the counter and she was almost spliting a cup of coffee that someone had left there, she took her hand out of ther pocket and stared at the test again, she was in her deepest thoughts what am I gonna do with my life? She thought to herself, but the rest of her thoughts were cutted by a voice:

"Beckett, you ok?" Ryan asked and she hide the test on her back

"Ya why?"

"Nothing just asking. By the way what is that you have in your hand behind you?"

To not seem weird, but without showing Ryan the test, she remembered about the coffee she almost splited before. 

"Humm...its...just...its just a spon, I was making coffee" She said and very quickly just putted the test inside the coffee in the counter "Hey why dont you guys take a rest? go home and come back tomorrow, enjoy the fact that right now I'm the captain here"

"You're really gonna let us go home?" Ryan asked

"Damn just go home Ryan" Beckett almost screamed because she was getting nervous he would found weird she wasn't drinking that coffee

"Ok, im gonna tell Espo" He answer and left

"Crap" Beckett said putting the test in the rubish bin and spliting the coffee in the sink

Beckett was the captain of the precint for now, while they were waiting for the new captain to come.

She felt like she needed to talk with someone, so who better than her bestfriend, Dr Lanie Parish.