&𝘽𝙐𝙍𝙉 「ˢᶜᵒᵗᵗ ʳᵉᵉᵈ 」

seventeen !

I DID NOT FEEL like going to school today. Yet, I do anyways. I couldn't not just let Scott leave my house for school without me. Especially, since my mom was home and caught us leaving.

I know she's probably going to want to talk about it when I get home today. Am I looking forward to it? Definitely not.

"Is that really Dillon in the flesh." Monty jokes as we walk up to him and Carolina.

"Yes it's Dillon in the flesh. Twenty bucks per look Monty since she's never seen." I talk in third person of myself.

"I need to talk to you. Right now, it's urgent." Carolina grabbed my arm and pulled us away from the guys.

"You aren't the only one who I need to talk to today." I muttered with a sigh. Carolina gave me a look saying that I need to tell her about it, but not at the moment.

"What's it about, C?" I asked the tan skinned girl in front of me.

"Well, Bryce may or may not have almost caught Monty and I together," an uneasy look settled on her face, "in my room."

"What the fuck." I breathed out. "You guys really need to control your hormones and be careful. Bryce would kill Monty if he knew."

"I know, I know. We know so we're kind of taking a break. Not like a breaking up break but a keeping our distance break." She explained.

I didn't really get where Carolina was get at, but I nodded anyways.

"So who else you have to talk to?" She brought up.

"My mom, but that isn't the matter right now." We started to walk to class.

As usual lunch rolled around pretty quick and I was glad that today was going better than the last day I came.

My parents weren't too fond of me staying home, but I played the sick card and they quite fell into it. My mom did seem a little suspicious so she could bring that up too.

I wasn't exactly lying though. I had thrown up just before going home. I had only just overstayed staying home.

The table was back to normal without Monty nor Scott and it seemed pretty empty. I knew the reason for Monty, but not Scott. Then again that would seem a little weird to be the only one from their table here except for Justin. Yet, he dates Jess so that makes more sense.

"How's life been?" I asked to table as I took a seat.

"Holy shit, Dillion where have you been? You aren't going to run off and throw up again are you?" Jess smiled at me.

"No I'm not. Sick, duh." I lied.

The table rolled into conversation.

Jess was going on about some party her and Justin went to, that I was hardly paying attention to from my drifted mind.

I always seem to be thinking of something else once my life started to fall apart.

Picking yourself back on your feet is a lot harder that it is said.

"Dillon, did you hear me?" I look over to Jess as everyone looks at me.

"Uh sorry what?" I stumble over my words.

"I said there's a get together at Carolina's that Bryce is throwing, you going?" She asked again.

"Uh I don't know."

Every time Bryce has a "get together" it always ends how I don't want it to end.

I knew Carolina would want me to go, definitely since her and Monty are taking their "break."

Maybe I should just to forget some things, that I can't get rid of.

As long as it doesn't turn into some party I should be fine.

Later that day, I went home with Carolina since the get together was placed there and I didn't see the point of going home. I wasn't going to change seeing as I didn't have the energy and I see these people every day.

"How was not coming to school been for you?" She asked me once we walked into her room.

"Not good actually. You would honestly think the school would care if you didn't show up for months, seeing I never go." I shrugged.

"Your right. How hasn't it been good, you deadass haven't been to school." Carolina jumped onto her bed laying down.

"I didn't come because of my mental state. It's just so different and I'm still not sure what to do with myself." I said.

"Funny."

"How is that funny?" There was a hint of agitation in my voice.

"Cause I don't think Clay is handling it well either. It's like the same in a way since they were pretty close. You should talk to him."

Clay.

How could I forget about Clay.

They were so close and I didn't even think to check up on Clay. I was so revolved around myself. I can't believe I've been so selfish and only thinking of how I've been feeling.

I'll take some time sometime soon to talk to him and see how he's doing.

A few hours after Carolina and I had time to talk to ourselves we started making our way downstairs and to the pool room where the guys hang out.

"Oh look who's back from the dead." Bryce said, bringing attention to us.

"Haha Bryce," Carolina rolled her eyes, "you saw her in the car."

"Right, I forgot her and Scotty spent the time together." Bryce looked at his friend.

"Shut up Bryce."

I finally managed to get to Clay during school. I had to run to catch up to him, since he apparently couldn't hear my yells.

"Fuck, Clay. Can't you hear me?" I asked once I finally reach his side.

"Sorry. Um, hey." He seemed to ask more than state.

"So I was think we could talk after school today if you aren't working." I said hopefully.

I really need to talk to Clay. Someone my age that is feeling the same without Jeff. I also wanted to see how he was doing, see as I never asked.

I know he lost him just like me.

"No I'm not today. I'll see you after school I guess."

I had taken in his appearance for the first time since the accident. I know I've seen him before I just never paid much attention.

He had prominent bags under his eyes. He looked extremely tired from the lack of sleep he has gotten and it makes me feel even worse than before.

I didn't forget to meet up with Clay once the bell rang. I started my way to the front entrance to catch up with Clay, only to be stopped.

"Are you busy?" Scott asked me as he grabbed my arm gently.

"Yeah, uh I have to talk to Clay. Why?" I look at him in confusion. I feel like I haven't talked to him all day.

"Nothing never mind." Scott let go of my arm,l. The look on his face holds a feeling I don't take in to notice.

"I'll text you after I'm done. It's kind of important and I don't know how long it's going to take." I told him.

I know I wanted to hang out with him but this was more important. I felt bad a bit for pushing him off when he's always been there for me.

"Okay, sounds nice." He gave a small smile.

"Bye Scotty." I said before running off, not even hearing his response.

next chapter will hopefully not take long. i didn't know how to start the convo so i'm going to think of it.

other than that here's that update and the book is no longer on hold bc i was kinda bored lol.