The Rant Book of a Teenage Drama Queen

Trigger Warning.

I have felt death peering at me through nothing but a thin glass barrier.It has wrapped it's cold,wretched hand around my wrist many times and tried to pull me down many times before.I refuse to let it take me so easily.

I will not give up.

I find myself trapped on the side of the mirror that I wish not to be on,maybe the other me that looks back isn't dealing with depression so often.I bet that's nice.

Last night's dream was just another one pertaining to my childhood...

I was in a hall of mirrors.I've never been in one before,but I have always wants to be.I tried not to look at the dozens of reflections of myself that followed me;I detest my looks.I was just going in a huge circle.What else did I have to do?I had no reason to get out.I wasn't even quite sure why I was there.I turned a corner again and was surprised to see,out of the corner of my eye,that one of my reflections didn't have my black hair.It had my old,natural blonde hair.

I took a deep breath and stopped in my tracks.I knew this wouldn't be good...I exhaled slowly,it felt as if I was exhaling every ounce of my courage.I took it like ripping off a bandaid.I looked up quickly,thinking that I could just get it over with,but she was gone.They all were.The mirrors were all now black as night.I wasn't exactly shocked,but I wasn't calm either.It was a strange uneasiness that I could feel giving me goosebumps.I stepped back slowly.I was in such a daze that I didn't realize I was still taking steps back and I backed up into another mirror.My back hit it and I heard cracking.I spun around instantly and saw a hole in the black glass.I bent down,my face near the hole.I put my eye close to peer in,but I saw nothing.the curiosity was eating me alive,so I decided to put my arm in.It felt cold and empty.I moved my fingers up and down,but nothing happened.I guessed that it was just nothing.I pulled my arm back out,but to my horror,it wasn't the same.My arm was covered in deep cuts and slices;all created by what seemed to be a blade.It was all too familiar.Blood poured violently from the fresh cuts.It felt cold.I fell to my feet.

The floor was gone though.I looked down and nothing was there to catch me.I kept falling,clutching my arm,blood everywhere.I accepted death warmly,as if it was a real scenario.

I woke up in a cold sweat.I checked my arm;nothing.It was just another dream about my self-harm.I'm only about 3 weeks clean so far,so these have been happening a lot.I hugged my giant Pikachu toy,his name is Sammy.I was okay,for now.

Catch Ya Later